


SILENCE

by MalevolentReverie



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bounty Hunters, Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse, Angst, Ben is an asshole, Bounty Hunters, Brainwashing, Captivity, Choking, Darkfic, Dominant Kylo Ren, Emotional Manipulation, Extinction, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, Handmaid's Tale Vibes, Hate Sex, Human Trafficking, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Infertility, Kidnapping, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Loss of Virginity, Mind Games, Misogyny, Non-Consensual Bondage, Non-Consensual Oral Sex, Non-Consensual Touching, POV Female Character, POV First Person, POV Rey (Star Wars), Road Trips, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Smut, Verbal Humiliation, Virus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-05-09 17:40:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 26,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14720663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalevolentReverie/pseuds/MalevolentReverie
Summary: A hemorrhagic virus in the world's water supply has led to mass infertility in women that sometimes culminates in an agonizing death. As the global population plummets, the U.S. fractures into two factions: the First Order, buying and selling women for pleasure, and the Republic, breeding the rare women who are immune to the virus to salvage society.Both sides brainwash men to ensure compliance to the new world order and hire bounty hunters to collect women in hiding. It’s a lucrative business, but when bounty hunter Ben Solo finds virus-immune Rey Kenobi hiding out in the Pacific Northwest, he decides to help her get to the safety of the Resistance—for a price.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [SILENCE](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16494848) by [Tersie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tersie/pseuds/Tersie)



Rain. Always rain.

I stare out of my cabin’s windows, shivering, watching the water pour down the dusty panes. It’s been so long since the collapse—so many months of loneliness in the Pacific Northwest. I’m eking out my living on squirrel meat and grass clippings and it fucking sucks.

  _“Rey—stay away from them. Stay hidden.”_

Yeah, I know that much. If I’m found, I’ll be sold.

The sky opens up and really pours rain down on my cabin. I wander away from the windows to make sure there aren’t any leaks I need to tend to, then start a fire and walk to the kitchen. It’s been a lonely year, but there isn’t much I can do. Going out to look for other people is way too risky. If I stumble across men, they might sell me or… do worse.

I heat up an old can of raviolis on the stove and ruminate on the past ten years. Mass infertility followed by a panic from international governments… I was lucky my foster mother got me into hiding as fast as she did. Most women were already being rounded up for breeding at that point.

But it’s another quiet night for Rey Kenobi. I sit in my small living room and dig into my slightly disgusting raviolis, watching the rain drizzle down the windows, thinking of how lucky I am. Leia delivered me from a life of torture.

I read a book before bed— _Wuthering Heights_ —and nestle in my cot. Leia was confident that the world would repair itself sooner or later and she told me to hide out until then. I’m nineteen now and went into hiding at sixteen after years of being sheltered by her. My exposure to the outside world has been slim to nil, but that’s okay with me. I know I don’t belong there.

So I go to sleep—dreaming of something more.

Then I wake and go out to collect food. I slip into a plain brown gown and wander around the forest close to my home, plucking berries and collecting greens and checking traps for meat. There’s a squirrel and unfortunately, a skunk, which I can’t eat. I kneel and slice him open to expose the flesh for another animal to eat before walking to the river to check my fish traps.

Ah—trout! I squeal with delight as I scoop up a trap full of wriggling trout and dump them on shore to be fileted. I got over slicing open live animals a long time ago. I need protein.

Elated, I go home with my spoils and store some in the fridge with salt sprinkled on top. There’s no electricity, but I know salting meat is supposed to keep it viable longer. I prep some of the grasses and fruits for supper and fry the trout over the stovetop.

It’s a satisfying dinner. I lick my fingers when I’m done and walk out to the porch to watch the sun set in the distance. Quiet. Always quiet. I go to bed again and wake up to the sun.

Leia hid me deep in the redwood forest of Washington. I figure no one can find me unless I want them to. I sing to myself while I walk, drawing my fingertips across ferns, and rub the moisture from the fronds between my fingertips. Society will rebound… soon.

I sigh, then hear a twig snap.

 “Ooh—what do we have here?”

It’s a deep voice—a man. I stiffen and slowly look over my shoulder to find him standing about fifteen feet behind me near a tree. He has black hair drawn back in a ponytail and all kinds of weapons on his tactical uniform with black boots. He’s tall—way over six feet—and has broad shoulders. He grins when I stare at him in terror and idly swings a tranq gun from his hip.

I take a step back in my thin flats. “I… I don’t want any trouble.”

The man raises his dark eyebrows and starts towards me without hesitation. “You’re about to have some.”

I take out my blaster and shoot blindly, terrified, and he slips behind a tree. Leia taught me to shoot and run so I take off down the trail, booking for my cabin, and hear the stranger hot on my heels. I turn once or twice to shoot at him again. He’s a bounty hunter. If he catches me…

We break out of the thick forest and I keep running across the short field to my cabin, chest burning, panting in fear. The man calls to me and I feel something bite at my calves and buzz up my spine.

Electricity snaps across my nerves and drags me to the ground. I shudder and tremble from the shocks as they overtake my body and the man walks up to loom over me. He smiles, watching me quiver, and the nodes hiss back to his gun and release me from electrocution. I take a few nervous breaths as he crouches beside me, and his equipment jangles on his hip.

 “Who are you?” I whisper.

He produces a needle from his breast pocket and bites off the tip. “Ben Solo.” He taps the tip of my nose and buries the needle in my upper arm. “I’m a bounty hunter, and you’re coming with me.”

I reach blindly for him, but my arm wavers in mid-air and I pass out with his dark brown eyes watching me. My life is over.


	2. The Capture

_You can run on for a long time_  
_Run on for a long time_  
_Run on for a long time_  
_Sooner or later God'll cut you down_  
_Sooner or later God'll cut you down_

Moaning, I wake up to the sound of two men singing in deep voices and the faint smell of cooking bacon. My head spins as I blearily open my eyes, flinching a few times and squeezing them shut, to take in wherever I’m being held captive.

It’s dark and my vision swims. I blink hard again and fight the urge to vomit as I look around the room and first see a big bed right in the middle. The sight of it is enough to bring bile up in my throat but I swallow it down and keep scanning the room to see if there’s any way out. If he’s a bounty hunter then he intends on selling me, and Leia said they never ‘try their own product.’

But my hands are handcuffed low behind my back and rooted to the floor, so it’s not like I’m going to get very far. I jangle and yank on them, contorting myself into different positions to see if any one of them will make the cuffs come loose or snap, but I can only move a foot or so and they seem like they’re on good and tight. The exertion leaves me panting and slowly beginning to panic. I’m trapped. I’m really trapped and there’s no way out.

At least the bedroom doesn’t look like a dungeon. The sheets are gray and blue and I’m sitting on dark laminate flooring, though the flower-patterned wallpaper is starting to peel. It’s been painted over in a few spots with assorted colors and looks like the painter tried a few swatches before giving up. The dresser and nightstand are bolted into the floor and the window looks… odd. It’s barred, short, and rectangular, like a basement window, but sunlight is streaming inside.

Alongside me there’s a row of metal half-circles jutting out of the floor. My spine prickles. Why does he keep the women in his bedroom?

The singing and the music stop. I sit up straighter when I hear feet in the hall and the door swings open as my captor walks inside.

Ben is dressed in gray sweatpants and a white tank top with his tranq gun on his hip. He eyes me lazily, chewing a piece of bacon with a plate full of it in his other huge hand. He’s tall—definitely tall. His black hair hangs just by his broad shoulders and he has a long, interesting face with a sloping jaw. He raises his eyebrows and chews with his mouth open, smirking at me, and I scowl up at him. Asshole.

 “What?” he asks innocently. “Don’t like Johnny Cash?” He crosses to the nightstand and sets the plate down to rummage through it, deliberately dropping condoms on the floor. “I think I have Queen in here somewhere if that’s more your speed.”

I glare at the pile of condoms. “You’re not supposed to have those.”

Ben laughs and shuts the drawer without picking them up. “I can knock you up if you want, but we _just_ met. And since birth control is outlawed…”

Something in my expression must give me away, because Ben narrows his eyes and closes the space between us in two strides. He bats my legs away when I lash out at him, still just wearing my dress, and kneels between my thighs to grab my left shoulder. I grunt and he twists my arm with his thumb, revealing the telltale long bump under my skin on my upper arm.

 “Should’ve known,” he mutters. “Well, it doesn’t have to come out until we get to New York, anyway and _you_ —” He taps my nose “—go on the market. Too bad the feds don’t pay better.”

I snap at his fingers when he draws his hand back and he laughs again. Ben leans back, falling on his forearm, to grab the plate of bacon, and turns to me. He eats another piece, assessing me while he chews, then pokes my lips with one. I clench my jaw.

 “Come on,” he coos, “I know you’re hungry.” He worms the salty edge through my tightly sealed lips. “If you won’t eat I’ll just puree it and pour it down your throat.”

Ugh. I grudgingly open my mouth and Ben smirks and pushes the strip of bacon on my tongue. I bite some off, savoring the rich flavor, and obediently eat the rest of the slice. Ben tilts his head and watches me chew with my mouth closed like any polite person would do.

I swallow and clear my throat. “Bacon’s bad for you.”

 “I do a lot of things that are bad for me. How old are you?”

 “…Sixteen.”

 “Liar.” Ben smiles and grasps my chin to turn my head from side to side. “You’re young, but not that young. I don’t give a shit, as long as you’re eighteen—which you are.”

 “What do you care? Age doesn’t matter anymore after menarche.”

He shrugs and stands up, obnoxiously chewing. “I don’t sell or fuck kids, but you’re not a kid, and I haven’t had sex in an entire _week,_ so…”

My pulse pounds in my ears as Ben casually sets the empty plate on the nightstand and peels off his shirt. His skin is pale and riddled with scars that run down the length of his abs and across his pecs, like people have slashed him with a knife more than once. The muscles tense in his forearms as he stretches them towards the ceiling, then cracks his neck.

 “Get away from me!” I hiss, recoiling like a rattlesnake.

Ben circles behind me to free my handcuffs from the floor. “I already had my pre-sex bacon, kid. If you shut up, I’ll fuck you from behind so you don’t have to look at me.”

I pant frantically as he drags me from the floor and drops me on my stomach on the bed. He crawls over me and I stare at his hand next to my head while he pushes up my dress. His hand moves away for a second and I feel like I’m going to pass out from fear.

 “Wait!” I bleat, finally finding my voice. “I—I’m a virgin!”

Ben stops.

He knows just as well as I do that I’m worth a lot more money if I’m kept that way. But he still looms over me, debating which is worth more to him: sex or a lot more money.

I flinch when Ben’s hand gently tugs on the edge of my panties to move them aside. It’s been done to me before—to check for virginity. He very carefully touches my entrance and I feel my hymen stick to his fingertip for a second before he pulls back. That’s the only way to tell, but tons of women lose theirs long before having sex for the first time. Mine is kind of thick and covers most of me.

Neither of us speaks. Ben squeezes my hips in his hands and growls, then rolls me over on my back.

 “I could fuck you in the ass instead,” he seethes, like it’s my fault.

 “It can still break, and then you’re out of luck,” I retort.

We glower at each other until Ben seizes my cheeks in his hand and squeezes them together, puckering my lips. I don’t let my glare falter.

Ben silently buries his face in the sheets beside my head and settles himself between my thighs. My hands clench behind my back as he begins slowly rolling his hips, supporting his weight on a forearm and using the other to push my thigh against his hip. I squeal and squirm, trying to pull free, but he holds me in place and I can’t escape. I breathe hard and fast through my teeth and start crying.

He groans. “Don’t fucking cry, kid. Hold still.”

 “I don’t want to,” I whimper.

 “Yeah, well, you’re a woman so you better get used to it.” Ben makes a deep sound in his chest and keeps making restrained thrusts. “Whoever buys you won’t ask permission, either.”

All I can do is lie there and let him rub against me. I’ve never been so close to a man before and it’s a strange, unsettling thing. He’s heavy and draped all over me, and I can feel hot, hard pressure pressing urgently between my legs. I’m not a total shut-in—I know it’s his penis—and the thought of that makes my cheeks flush with heat. I can feel tension building there but I don’t understand. Still, I shift my hips and try to meet his flexing movements, controlled by some reptilian part of my brain.

Ben makes a fast thrust and adjusts his weight. “Good girl. Keep doing that.”

My palms sweat, wrists twisting in the cuffs under my back. I bite down on my lower lip to keep my panting in but some slips through my lips as I curiously rotate my hips into Ben’s. He stops completely and lies there with his face in the sheets while I buck and writhe and chase the fleeting pleasure teasing me. We don’t talk.

I don’t know how long I’m there, but it feels like a long time. I’m beading sweat and desperate to grab Ben’s hips and push him down on me and he growls when I whimper in frustration.

 “Feels good, huh?” he mumbles.

I nod. He nods, too, and rolls his hips when I make another small noise. I pant past his ear and my face screws up with mixed surprise and pleasure as the tension seems to reach a peak. Confused whimpers escape my mouth when it suddenly unfurls with a snap and throbbing warmth floods through my body. My hips buck in a weak, uneven rhythm and I can’t hold back a breathy moan.

It feels _amazing._ I struggle to catch my breath as Ben goes back to rubbing against me, now faster than before, and he grunts and groans under his breath a minute or two later. I feel pulsing sensations and dampness on my panties when he slows down in the same way I did.

He swallows hard and I feel his warm breath on my ear. “See? Not that bad.”

 “I… I…”

Ben leans back on his heels and widens his eyes for a second while he tries to catch his breath. I watch him get out of the bed and look down to find my thighs are trembling. He sighs and abruptly pulls down his sweatpants and briefs, making me squeal and squeeze my eyes shut.

 “You’ve probably never gotten off, right?” Ben asks offhandedly. “Guess it doesn’t matter anymore. Breed, breed, breed—only have sex to make babies. I feel like I should be on a fuckin’ stud farm.”

I roll on my side and stretch my tingling hands. “…I don’t want to have any babies.”

 “Me neither, kid, but desperate times call for desperate measures.” He crouches beside the bed, now wearing black briefs, and smiles in a sad way. “I’m sure whoever buys you won’t be too bad. You won’t exactly come cheap. Besides, you don’t raise the kids, just incubate and pop ‘em out. Then they go off for the grand brainwashing and you get to live in the lap of luxury.”

 “You can let me go. No one knows I can have—”

 “I’m not dumb enough to let a hot, fertile woman go. You know how much money I’ll get for you?”

My chest tightens nervously as Ben stands up. He brushes my hair back and moves to walk away, and I’m terrified of being scooped up by some awful high-roller who already owns three other women. Panting, I swing to sit up and get on my knees as he reaches the door.

 “Please!” I cry. “Please! I—I know where Leia Organa is!”

Ben freezes with his hand on the doorframe. He turns to face me, eyes tight.

 “Leia Organa?” he clarifies. “How do you know her whereabouts?”

 “I’m… I’m Rey Kenobi. She was the one who hid me in the forest.”

His eyes widen and he turns pale as a sheet. I don’t know him, but it seems like he knows me.


	3. The Bargain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh NOOOOO  
> also really surprised by how popular this is and would like to again express that people pay close attention to the tags. there will be a lot of dubcon in this--i will give advance warning if it will ever progress to noncon, but i highly doubt it

The blank stare vanishes from Ben’s face in the next second. He studies me thoughtfully before picking up his tranq gun and clipping it low on his hips again at an odd angle. All the bounty hunters carry one. It’s mottled gray and ugly with all kinds of attachments to make it as easy as possible to stop a fleeing woman. It’s meant to be a threat, even if he’s still half-naked.

 “And how do you know Leia Organa?” he repeats.

 “She hid me in the—”

 “Yeah, yeah; I know, I heard you the first time.” Ben waves his hand dismissively. “How did you meet her? When, where…”

Truth be told, I have no clue where Leia is. Last she told me, she was going to Montana to hide out in the Rocky Mountains, but I’m not going to give her away to a bounty hunter. She helps move and hide women across the country in remote places to keep them from being found by either the Republic, which is the last remnants of a federal government, or the First Order, which is the largest ring of bounty hunters and buyers. Neither side gives women any semblance of dignity or respect.

But I relay the story of how I met Leia: when the virus first began to spread, and she was one of the first politicians to realize it would become a massive problem. She was the state senator of Arizona and began moving foster kids first, since they would be one of the first populations to be taken, and I happened to be in the first batch. I was nine at the time and Leia decided to keep me with her until things came to a head.

And they did. The virus took a few years to infiltrate the water supply, then on my sixteenth birthday, Leia brought me to my cabin in the Pacific Northwest. The order had been given for lower-income women to be collected first and Leia knew it was just a matter of time for the rest of us. She became an icon in the Resistance movement to liberate women, and the other two factions were eager to stop her. Not only would the women be stranded, but Leia also knew their whereabouts.

I swallow hard when I’m done talking. “The last time I saw her was a year ago. She said things were getting too dangerous for her to keep visiting.”

Ben leans on the wall, folding his arms, and doesn’t say anything for a few minutes. His eyes drift down my body hungrily and linger on my exposed thighs. My body is my only other bargaining chip and it loses a lot of value if I don’t have my hymen so it’s not something I want to offer up yet. Plus, Ben has already made it clear that he’ll take whatever he wants.

He scratches his jaw and studies me. “What do you want in exchange for this information, Rey?”

 “I… I want to go back to Leia.”

 “…So, you want to tell me where she’s hiding so I can deliver you to her?”

I rest back on my heels, wilting under his pitying stare. “But—then you know where she is.”

 “And I lose a payday, a pussy, and maybe get captured for the information that may or may not be real. You suck at bargaining.”

I want to be mad at the insult, but it’s not like he’s wrong. Tears gather in my eyes and he pouts sarcastically, and saunters up to stand in front of my at the end of the bed. He tilts my chin up with his curled index finger and searches my eyes.

 “Tell you what,” he says, idly wiping away a tear with his thumb. “I’ll bring you to Leia and I’ll even leave the Resistance alone—if she agrees to buy you from me and you give me your virginity. That sounds fair, doesn’t it?”

 “I’m not having sex with you!” I snap.

 “Then I can’t promise I’ll keep the location of the Resistance a secret, and you can decide between becoming an incubator for the Republic or a whore for some buyer in the First Order.”

There’s no easy way out. One path will lead me straight to a life of slavery and the other will bring me home with Leia and all the other free women at some personal cost. I know Leia has the money to buy me from Ben and she won’t hesitate to, so maybe losing my virginity is a small price to pay.

Ben seizes the back of my neck and squeezes, looming over me. “ _Or_ I can just fuck you right now and dump you on Leia’s doorstep. I know she’ll still pay for you.”

 “Then I won’t tell you where she is.”

 “I’ll torture you until you do.” His thumb curls around my neck to stroke my throat. “I wouldn’t mind keeping you here as my pet, either. I could be the only one who ever fucks you—and can you really put a price on that kind of satisfaction?”

I glower up at him. “Fine. You bring me to Leia and leave her alone and I’ll sleep with you—once—and the Resistance will pay you for me.”

 “Good.” Ben pushes me on my back by my forehead and leaves the room. “By the way: if they won’t pay, we’re going with option number three. I’ve never banged a virgin before, y’know, and keeping you here like that really is priceless.”

My skin crawls at the thought of being chained to the floor all day until Ben decides he wants me. I roll on my side and curl into a ball, tentatively happy to see Leia again. She was the only mom I ever really knew and she hated leaving me behind in the cabin, but it was the safest option. Then I’d never have to worry about a man finding me and forcing me to sleep with him and have babies. I’d be safe again.

Ben leaves me alone for most of the day. While I look around, I figure out that we’re on an RV, based on the paneling and narrow hallways.

I’m drifting off to sleep when he wanders in the bedroom again. He has a half-empty bottle of whiskey and takes a swig. I huff and roll on my back. His dark eyes rake down my body.

 “I have to pee,” I say tersely.

 “What’s the magic word?”

I struggle to sit up. “ _Please_.”

Ben wanders over and yanks me to my knees by the front of my dress. He stares at me as he reaches back to take out a switchblade and slices through the thick fabric from top to bottom. I squeal when he rips the rest of the fabric open and he leans over to kiss the exposed arch of my collar bone, quickly kissing a wet line down to my breasts. He groans and starts pushing me back.

I topple over, squeaking like a dog toy, and Ben is on top of me before I can bat an eye. He kisses along my chest to my nipple and sucks it with wet lips while the bottle of vodka sloshes beside us.

 “Stop!” I demand. “I won’t tell you where—”

 “Shut the fuck up.”

Furious, I lash out with my legs, trying to force him off me, but Ben bears down and continues gently sucking on my nipple and running his tongue across it. Pleasure ripples through my body but I’m determined not to admit it this time and I bite down on my lower lip. It’s quiet—all I can hear is Ben’s lips and tongue smacking on my skin and the quiet hum of a TV.

He leans back when I’m covered in his saliva and reaches a hand down the front of his pants. With the other he takes another long drink of whiskey and I barely manage to avert my eyes when his cock comes out. Ben edges closer and groans as he strokes it over me and I’m worried the entire time that he’s going to put it in my mouth or take my virginity, but it doesn’t happen.

Ben breathes faster and I feel something wet dripping on my stomach. I open a curious eye to see white stuff coating his fingers and oozing from the tip of his penis while he squeezes more out. His eyes are closed and his throat bobs. I stare until his dark eyes flicker to mine, then quickly look away.

He catches his breath and stands up. I watch him press a button on his tranq gun and a key pops out of a hidden compartment. Ben pulls me to my knees by my neck and reaches behind me to unlock the cuffs.

My wrists are so numb so that I don’t even think of attacking him. He gestures for me to follow him and I do to the bathroom, where he lets me go inside on my own and wash up. It’s definitely an RV. Everything is bolted into the floor and the toilet and stand-up shower are small. I do my business and wash off the substance on my stomach with a towel, frowning. Gross.

Ben is waiting right outside. He slips me out of the torn dress and herds me into the bedroom to give me one of his white t-shirts instead, which drapes down to my knees. He takes off my panties, too, and throws them aside, saying I ‘don’t need them anymore.’

I glare at the floor bitterly. “I told you to stop.”

 “I don’t care.” Ben drinks more and sways on his feet. “I’ll do whatever I want to you.”

Then he grabs my upper arm and drags me into a sloppy kiss. I shove on his chest and he kisses me harder, stumbling closer and yanking me when I wriggle in his grasp. His mouth tastes like whiskey and bacon. It’s a strangely pleasant combination but doesn’t change the fact that Ben’s an asshole.

 “Stop!” I hiss. “Get away from me!”

Ben fumbles to set the bottle aside and comes back to me with both arms slithering around my waist. He kisses me deeply and his hands wander up and down, ruffling my shirt and leaving a tingling trail where his fingertips brush my skin. He grunts and turns us, trying to push me down on the bed, but now I have both hands free and I use them to keep myself braced there.

 “You’re a woman,” he mumbles, “I don’t have to ask you for permission. I can cum on you and lick your tits as much as I want, and you have no right to fucking stop me.”

Technically, he’s right. But technicalities don’t matter to me. I don’t care about carrying on the human race—they can all fade into oblivion for all I care. I want my dignity and autonomy, even if everyone else thinks I should sacrifice it for the greater good.

But I have to get back to Leia for that to happen. Even with my hands unbound and Ben drunk, he’s twice my size and far stronger, and men just want their egos stroked. So, I swallow down my pride and nod, letting him push me over the edge of the bed.

 “You’re right,” I whimper in the softest voice I can. “I’m sorry, sir.”

Tacking on ‘sir’ has the intended effect. Ben stands over me, between my knees, and nods. Men’s entitlement to women came swiftly on the heels of the virus and it’s deeply engrained into society now. Most men are under the belief, through brainwashing or social expectations, that women are property and only meant for breeding and their personal pleasure. It’s rare for them to think otherwise and even most women are beginning to feed into the worldwide delusion.

Ben blinks hard and nods again. “Okay. Good. Good girl.”

He cuffs my wrists behind my back again and attaches me to the floor, then leaves the bedroom. I hang my head and squeeze my eyes shut. Please be in Montana, Leia.


	4. The Reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -whispers- ben solo is not nice

 “Wake up, kid.”

Groggy, I slowly open my eyes in the early morning light to find I’m lying on my side on the floor. My ribs hurt but my shoulders feel numb from being strained backwards for so long. I moan in pain and squeeze my eyes shut before the smell of bacon and eggs wafts around me and makes my stomach grumble. Food… I need food. And water. I’m so thirsty…

My gaze wanders to Ben’s legs, then traces up his naked torso to his smiling face and across his arm to a steaming plate of food. My mouth waters and I swallow hard.

He cocks his head. “Hungry?”

 “…Yes,” I reply curtly.

 “Well I might be inclined to share if you ask nicely.”

We stare at each other. Ben raises his eyebrows, willing me to speak, and I clench my jaw. Suck it up, Rey. You need to get back to Leia.

I clear my throat. “May I please have some food?”

Ben’s smirk widens and he steps closer. His long fingers brush my hair back, sweeping it from one shoulder to the other, and he lowers the plate in front of his crotch. I try to wrestle down my pride and manage to get on my knees to arch my neck towards the food, stomach growling. He runs his fingertips down my cheek and across my shoulder while I awkwardly take bites as fast as I can.

Halfway through, Ben tilts the plate so the rest of the food spills on the floor. I stare at it for a moment and when I look up at him he gasps like he’s surprised.

 “Oopsie,” he sighs. “Such a klutz.”

I’m too hungry to ignore it and I know he won’t give me more. Trembling with anger, I shuffle on my knees to bend over and eat the food off the floor while Ben looms over me. It tastes gross, but I’m used to food that isn’t exactly a delight to the senses.

Ben circles behind me to unlock my handcuffs when I’m done. When I try to stand up he pushes me back down on my hands and knees. I stay that way for a full minute before he speaks again.

 “Crawl to the bathroom,” he drawls.

I have to grind my teeth to keep from screaming at him. He walks close behind the entire way and starts the shower after I crawl across the linoleum floor. I wait, agitated, until Ben murmurs ‘up’ and I can get to my feet. He peels his shirt off me while I’m facing away from him and wraps an arm around my waist to yank me against his chest. His lips drift across my neck, wet and hungry, and he runs a hand over my stomach while the other curls around my throat.

He doesn’t say anything. I figure he’s waiting for me to break and resist again, but I’m not a complete moron. I let him do what he wants until he gets bored and shoves me into the shower.

After I wash myself I use the toilet and brush my teeth. Ben dresses me in one of his shirts again but a pair of his black shorts, too, which come down past my shins. He pulls on a shirt and changes into jeans, then hangs his tranq gun over his hip. I frown as he handcuffs my wrists in front of me and attaches a long chain that he wraps around his forearm.

 “Is this really necessary?” I grumble.

 “Yeah, unless you want someone to grab you.”

Ben drags me off the RV into bright sunshine and the loud clamor of people buying and selling at a marketplace. He locks the door and I blink in surprise at the mess of tents before me. People are dressed in all kinds of different clothes, mostly jeans or thick cargo pants, and they’re all wandering around a dusty desert with a stark blue sky overhead. It’s busy. Really—

A hand seizes my elbow and I shriek in surprise. There’s a huge blonde guy standing right up next to me and he leans over to smell my hair, splitting his cracked lips in a toothy grin.

Ben punches him in the face before I can get a word out and the stranger collapses in the dirt. The other men milling around burst into laughter as blood pours from the guy’s nose and stains the sand. Ben spits on him and kicks dirt in his face before taking my elbow and leading me through the throng.

The heat is oppressive, but I think I dislike the stares of the men even more. They turn in interest to ogle me like a piece of meat and Ben actually bares his teeth like a dog at a few of them. This isn’t the world I left a few years ago. It’s hungrier; more dangerous. There’s a vague sense of tension in the air and I feel like an antelope that stumbled into the den of a pride of starving lions.

Ben stops to buy food and drags me in front of him, shielding me with his body from the interested men. I smile slightly at the shopkeeper, an elderly man with a hunched back, and he smiles, too. Ben exchanges money that I’ve never seen before—white and red—and pushes a bag of groceries into my chest that I narrowly catch with my elbows. He moseys down a few stands to one with alcohol and cigarettes and I roll my eyes.

 “You can’t smoke,” I snip. “I have asthma.”

 He laughs and adds the bag to my arms. “Then I won’t smoke around you.”

We start to walk away and now Ben’s hands are on my hips. He’s kneading his fingers, but I think it’s because he’s just as nervous as I am. The men part slowly, staring at us. They all look dirty and miserable and hungry. I feel so uncomfortable. The world is not the same way I left it.

 “Hey, Solo.”

Ben stops and stiffens. He turns around with me still safely wrapped in his arms to see a slightly short man with wavy black hair and wide, expressive dark eyes watching us from a few feet off. He has a sharp jaw and a scruffy beard, and he’s dressed in a brown vest with jeans. To my utter shock, a woman is flanking him who has two buns on top of her head. She blows a bubble and eyes me.

 “Poe.” Ben’s heart pounds on my back. “What do you want?”

Poe puckers his lips and saunters closer, also packing a tranq gun on his hip. The woman he’s with has a bright red collar around her neck and she’s wearing a white tank top with baggy green cargo pants. She has a regular holster and a dagger.

Poe stops a foot in front of me and smiles wryly. “This one’s cute. Are you selling her?”

 “No,” Ben says coldly.

The woman snaps her gum, circling Ben and me. “You always sell them, Ben.”

I bristle when Poe reaches out to touch me and snap at his fingertips. He draws back and scowls, but it makes all the other men, including Ben, laugh. Ben kisses the side of my head and I glower at Poe.

 “Connix,” Poe says without taking his eyes off me, “would you mind checking Solo’s little pet for me? I think she may be more interesting than he’s letting on.”

Ben has his tranq gun pressed to Poe’s forehead before anyone can blink. But in the next second, everyone around us takes out their various weapons and points them directly at Ben. His arm trembles next to my head like he’s furious and he spins the weapon back into its holster. He grinds his teeth in my ear and holds my hips firmly.

I look around, confused, then squeak when I find Connix standing directly in front of me. She smiles cruelly and abruptly slips her hand down the front of my pants.

The men whistle and jeer and Ben’s fingers dig into my skin. I just stare at her in rude shock while she stares back and slips her fingertips through my curls, delicately along the inside of my slit, and taps once near my entrance. My skin sticks to her like it did Ben and her smile gets even more eerie. As she pulls her hand back out, she pauses for a brief second to swirl her fingertip around the top of my vagina and I shiver with unexpected pleasure.

Connix sucks her fingertip, smirking as she turns to face Poe. “Virgin.”

Somehow, everything turns more sinister. Poe raises his eyebrows and nods. The group around us murmurs and I can see men touching their swords and guns.

 “That’s a lot of money,” Poe says. “Couple million, maybe. But it’s always nice to fuck a virgin.”

A hand touches my calf and I look down to find a scrawny old man trying to stick his hand up my pantleg. I scream and whirl around into Ben’s chest, terrified, and he holds me with one arm and brandishes his tranq gun with the other. I can feel their eyes… I can hear their horrible thoughts…

 “I’ll pay you a thousand for a handjob,” one offers.

 “Two thousand!” shouts another.

Oh god. I want to puke. What is this sick fucking place? Is this real?

Ben scoops me up with one arm and I hear the electrodes snap out of his gun, buzzing into someone I can’t see. They hiss back and snap again to another man.

 “Keys, kid,” he snaps. “Now.”

I scramble for the keys in his pocket and get them out just as he backs into the RV door. Panicked, it takes me two tries to get the lock open and Ben’s tranq gun spits the electrodes out once more, roping them back just as the door to the RV slams shut.

Ben drops me on the couch in the living room and rushes back to the driver’s seat. I roll over, spilling groceries everywhere, and hurriedly pick them up as he peels out of the area. The men chase us like crazed beasts, waving their arms and shouting at Ben to stop, and my eyes well up with tears. What is this hellish place? Is this the life I have to look forward to now?

 “Hello there.”

My head snaps up to see a young man with blonde hair looming over me. He descends as I start screaming for Ben and thrash and kick my legs. The stranger moves quickly, pinning me to the couch and frantically yanking on my pants until Ben crosses the RV in three strides. He drags the guy to the driving area and punches the hell out of him until blood is spraying on the floor.

I scramble up with my pants down to my thighs and start crying. Ben kicks the man down the stairs and returns to me with bloody hands, panting. All our stuff is lying on the floor.

He snatches the chain and jerks me upright by my wrists to drag me over to him. I’m hysterically sobbing as Ben leans over and kisses me hard, slipping his tongue in my mouth and smearing blood on my face. He crawls on top of me on the beige couch and stains it with his bloody handprints.

 “I want to go home!” I beg. “This is a nightmare!”

Ben nods, throat bobbing. “I know, Rey—but this is your home now.”

He takes advantage of my inability to move and my pants being down to my thighs and drives a knee between my legs to force them apart. Ben kneels above me to unbuckle his holster, casting it aside, and unbuckles his belt to get his jeans open. He keeps his briefs on as he leans against me, hard and hot and hungry like the others. I can’t move—I can only cry and wait for it to be over.

I’m his property, something coveted, and that gives him pleasure.


	5. The Deal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh rey

It rains most of the next day, setting the mood for a day of moping. I lie on my side in the bedroom with my wrists cuffed behind my back and stare at the water running in torrents down the window, dappling the bed in gray and white light, and wonder how the world changed so fast in such a short amount of time. It wasn’t like this when Leia brought me into hiding. She said it would take at least a decade for things to start falling apart, but… those men were like animals.

I rub my thighs together and shudder. Ben grabbed me just a little too hard and there are bruises blooming across my skin; aching reminders of my predicament and the state of society. Once again, I’m only dressed in one of his white t-shirts and nothing else. It’s degrading.

But until I find Leia, I can’t afford to be separated from Ben. He has the advantage over me now, which I’m sure he knows, and I’m just waiting for him to pop up in the doorway to rub it in my face. At the same time, not protecting me means he’ll lose out on money _and_ sex, and those two things are about all he thinks of. I gaze silently out the window. I’m a pawn and nothing more. That’s what I’ve been reduced to.

Ben comes for me when it starts getting dark. He’s shirtless again and his sweatpants are hanging low on his hips. He stumbles over to me, laughing, and fumbles with the key to set me free from the floor. He frees my wrists, too, and nudges me with his foot when I don’t get up.

 “Crawl,” he slurs.

Trembling, I drag myself up on my hands and knees and crawl towards the bedroom door. Ben follows close behind me through the quiet, dark RV, with only the sound of rain and gentle laughter from the television to break the tense silence. I reach the hall and stiffen when I hear Ben drop to his knees behind me, then feel his long fingers dig into my hips.

 “You want me to fuck you like a bitch?” He yanks and my nails scrape on the floor.

I force myself to nod, squeezing my eyes shut. “…Yes.”

Ben flips me on my back and seizes my throat hard enough to knock my head on the floor. I see stars but quickly panic as his grip becomes a stranglehold that makes my lungs burn and my head ache. He squeezes tighter and I desperately claw at his fingers, gasping, writhing with him kneeling between my legs. His jaw clenches as I feel pain lance down the sides of my throat and my hands fall to my sides.

The pressure is suddenly gone and I cough before I take a rattling breath. Ben leans over to smack kisses up the edge of my throat, then stands up and steps over me, heading for the small kitchen area. Running away would be totally moronic, so I catch my breath and get back to crawling towards the living room.

Ben glances at me and smirks. I hesitate near the couch, unsure if I should get on it, and decide to kneel there and wait. Just think about your freedom, Rey.

 “What’d you think about all those men?” he calls from the kitchen. “Scary, huh?”

 “…Yes.”

I look down at the floor until he tilts my chin with his fingertip, clenching a bottle of whiskey in his other hand. He stares at me and takes a swig.

 “You know what they’ll do to you if you run away from me?”

 “Yes,” I say tersely.

 “Women are dying off, y’know.” He drinks again and brushes my hair back from my face. “The virus can take a few weeks or a few years to incubate—then it makes you bleed to death through all your holes with no warning. The eyes start first.”

Leia told me that. Some women are immune, including myself, and we don’t experience infertility or hemorrhagic fever. Others only become barren, or suddenly hemorrhage to death, or have both happen—and I know when pregnant women start pouring blood, the doctors only care about ripping the fetus out of her and keeping it alive.

I shrug. “Don’t know what that has to do with anything.”

Ben smiles and walks off again to the kitchen. “Everyone’s getting desperate, Rey. They know there’s only so much time left before the whole planet becomes one big sausage fest, and the tech for artificial wombs is still a decade off. But no one really gives a flying fuck about that. Men are men, and most of us like pussy, which is in short supply and kind of becoming a status symbol.”

 “I’m not going anywhere!” I snap, losing my patience. “We have a deal.”

 “Yeah—about that.”

My spine prickles as he pours a glass of whiskey. Even if it happens, at least it’s not some random psycho in a market. But if I can’t get back to Leia… I don’t want to live the rest of my life in an RV with Ben forcing himself on me whenever he wants. That’s not a life worth fighting for.

I swallow hard. “You won’t get paid if you don’t bring me to her.”

 “Eh. I’ll find some other bitch sooner or later and I don’t need any cash for a while.” He saunters back and tips the glass to my lips. “Things will reach a fever pitch soon. You can tell how dry the market is by how desperate those guys were to get to you. I’m only pulling one or two girls a month now.”

The whiskey tastes awful but I choke it back, coughing as it burns down my throat. Ben smiles and throws the glass into the wall and it shatters, raining to the floor with gentle clinks. I jump nervously at the sound and he grabs a fistful of my hair to yank my head back. His other hand slips down the front of his sweatpants and my eyes widen.

No—no! I finally lose my cool and jerk back from Ben, but he holds my head still and grins down at me. Terrified, I manage to hit him between the legs and he instantly collapses with a low groan of pain. I scramble for the hallway and make it to the threshold of the bedroom when he catches up and grabs my hair again, pinning me to the floor on my stomach.

Ben straddles my hips and pants in my ear. “You want me to fucking throw you outside, then?! Maybe after you’re raped a few times you’ll stop being such a difficult bitch!”

 “I’m sorry!” I stammer. “You scared me!”

He squeezes my butt in one hand, yanking my hair with the other. “I’ll fucking scare you. I’ll make you pop babies out until one gets stuck in your fucking cunt and you bleed to death on the bathroom floor like the bitch you are. Does THAT scare you?!”

The tears come before I can stop them. I sob softly into the floor, still apologizing, and Ben slowly leans back, slipping his fingers from my hair. He’s silent for a minute. Rain beats down on the roof and windows, and the only other sound is me crying to myself.

 “You know I hate when you cry, brat.”

I shake my head. “I don’t care.”

 “Don’t pout. I know where you’ll be—I’ll come get you when it’s the right time.”

…What? My crying fades into sniffles and I turn slightly under Ben’s legs to look up at him. His dark eyes are wide, pupils dilated, and he’s smiling. But it doesn’t have the same malicious edge as usual and for some reason, it looks familiar. I stare at him and wonder why I feel like he’s said that before…

Ben blinks and his pupils shrink. He groans, clutching his head, and gets off me without another word. I watch him stumble into the bedroom and collapse on the bed.

I wipe my eyes and skitter to the kitchen to eat something before he notices. Crying works on him. He told me not to cry the first time he attacked me. I think about it while I shovel turkey and cheese down my throat, stomach practically snarling with hunger, and lean back to make sure Ben’s still in bed. I can cry on command. I’ll grovel and cry if that’s what it takes to keep his hands off me.

My belly hurts by the time I’m done guzzling water and eating half of Ben’s food. I chow down on a bag of chips anyway, stuffing myself like I’m going into hibernation, and stare at him spread out on the bed. Maybe he’s been brainwashed. Lots of men were when they refused to comply with the direction society was headed. Ben is a brute though. I doubt he loves his own mother.

Ben rolls on his back and sits up like he heard me thinking about him. He scratches his head and squints at me.

 “The hell are you staring at?” he mutters.

 “You, I guess.”

 “C’mere, I’m not done with you.”

I cock my head. “Do you think about anything other than sex?”

He laughs, then groans and flops on his back again. I finish my chips and drop the empty bag on the dresser, wandering to the end of the bed to watch Ben in his weakened state. Did he know about the weird thing he said to me? Didn’t seem like it.

 “The world is ending, Rey, and I’m a thirty-year-old man with a hot girl ten feet away from me.” He lifts his head, eyebrows raised imploringly. “What else should I think about? Your feelings?”

 “…Uh, yes?”

Ben rolls his eyes. “Just get over here. I want to get off, pop a Tramadol, and go the fuck to sleep.”

Crying to get out of things can’t be thrown around willy-nilly or he’ll figure me out. He beckons me impatiently and I crawl across the bed, heart pounding, then Ben sits up and pushes me on my back. I grimace, expecting him to shove his cock in my mouth, but he nudges my thighs apart with his knee and mechanically rolls his hips into mine.

I cling to his bare shoulder blades and Ben groans under his breath. Again the RV falls silent, now only broken by the rustling of the sheets and him panting in my ear. I lie still and close my eyes, waiting for it to be over. He’ll take a pill and go to sleep and leave me alone.

A few minutes later, Ben rolls on his back and pulls me with him. He holds my hips and mutters ‘move’ so I tentatively do so until he gets annoyed and aggressively rubs me back and forth on his lap. I hide my face in the pillow to stifle my moans as tension coils tighter and tighter each time he drags me against him. Soon I’m clinging to the sheets and bucking my hips entirely on my own.

 “You like this?” Ben whispers. When I nod, he nods, too. “I know you do, hungry little slut. I can’t wait to watch you bounce in my lap.” He slips a hand over my butt and carefully strokes his finger along my lips, avoiding penetration. “You’re so fucking wet.”

 “I… I know.”

His finger prods me a few more times, then suddenly pushes in exactly where I don’t want it. I freeze and my eyes widen at the sudden intrusion, but Ben keeps murmuring and rocking against me like nothing is wrong. I blink hard and go back to rubbing myself on his cock.

My climax comes soon after and I whimper into Ben’s neck as he pumps his finger and groans. It feels better than before and I lie there, boneless, while he uses me to come to completion, too.

Ben catches his breath and pushes me over on my back. He gets out of bed and stalks off to the bathroom, muttering about cumming in his pants like a teenager. I feel throbbing pain in my behind but I’m not about to complain. I scramble under the sheets, desperate to sleep in a bed, and squeeze my eyes shut. Save the crying for the bad stuff.


	6. Fresh Meat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't like the old chapter and deleted it so here's this

_“Child marriage is legal now, Ben. Do you know what that means?”_

_“What, mom? You want me to marry a thirteen-year-old? What the fuck do I look like?”_

_I’m listening to Ben talking to… someone. He sounds mad. Times are beginning to get desperate—not enough to make people panic, but enough to legalize marriage for girls after menarche. It’s the first period. I hear that word a lot. Menarche. I’ve already had mine, so I guess I’m a viable wife._

_A distorted voice huffs. “You don’t have to consummate it—just marry her so she’s safe from other men. She’s immune to the virus. If they find her…”_

_“It’s going to take years for things to get bad, mom,” Ben replies. “I’ll keep helping you move kids and… if things get bad, hide her in the cabin. I’ll go when I can—when she’s eighteen or whatever—and we’ll find you. Don’t worry so much.”_

_“I can’t guarantee her safety that way. A plan is being passed around in the Senate to verify consummation in marriages. It’s nowhere near ready, but it’s only a matter of time.”_

_Ben storms off. “She’s thirteen. I’m not marrying her.”_

I wake with a weird tight sensation in my chest. Panting, I sit up in bed and find Ben isn’t lying beside me, and paired with the smell of bacon, I know he’s making breakfast. I take a few steadying breaths and shake off the dream as I slip out of bed. It was just a dream. Nothing more.

My… _protector_ is making me food, so I tug down the shirt he dressed me in and walk down the hall to the kitchen. I have to suck up to him. Ben is an asshole, but he’s the only thing between me and a life of torment. I close my eyes for a second when I hear Johnny Cash and edge into the wider section of the RV, where Ben is cooking food.

No shirt—shocker. He has an open bottle of whiskey on the counter and hums along with ‘Hurt’ while I stare. His back ripples with muscle and tightens when he turns the pan, frying eggs with a sizzle and hiss. Moron. He can get a bad burn if the oil splashes on his chest.

Ben turns a bit and grins. “Hey there, Rey. Hungry?”

I nod. He eyes me and goes back to cooking, and I figure it’s a good time to suck up. I pad closer, wringing my hands, and kneel on the floor next to his legs. Ben blinks down at me with the spatula dripping grease.

I’m not good at the ‘coquettish’ thing. I swallow and tug his sweatpants over his hips, drawing a surprised sound from his lips, and squeeze my eyes shut as I kiss the tip of his cock. Done! It’s done!

He laughs and touches the back of my head. “Jesus Christ.” His dark eyes shift to the pan, then back to me. “Go sit at the table, kid. You need food first.”

Nope—no. If I did it wrong, I’ll do it right. I shake my head and grab Ben’s hips to drag him closer, slipping my dry lips over the head of his cock until I gag. He grunts in surprise and drops the spatula to curl his long fingers through my hair, guiding my mouth along his length. I lick my lips with loud smacks and bob my head to the rhythm of his fingertips. It tastes like salt and heat.

 “ _Fffffuck,”_ Ben grunts. “Fuck, fuck. Fuck me.” He brushes my hair back. “Holyfuckingshit. Holy shit.”

It’s working. I lap at the underside of his cock and peer up at him, which makes him bite his lower lip and groan again. Ben tries to restrain himself, but grunts and bucks and I feel him swelling up in my mouth. I refuse to back off and edge closer on my knees as he frantically pants, flexing his hips.

 “Rey!” he whimpers. “Seriously, I’m going to—” His dark eyes roll. “Rey—!”

I squeak when I feel him finish. Ben gasps and clings to my head as he spills in my mouth, cum warm and thick, and I cling to his hips. It comes in spurts with each thrust of his hips until he stills against my lips and I know he’s done. I lean back on my heels and can’t hide a grimace as I swallow.

He groans and stares at each microexpression on my face. Ben turns our food over and kneels in front of me to kiss along my cheeks and forehead, huffing and pulling me into a tight hug. I blink, hugging him back, and he takes a few sharp breaths. I swallow, concocting a lie with the taste of his cum in my mouth. It’s so salty; gelatinous like snot, but I have to get to Leia. Safety.

 “I liked that,” I whisper. “Can I have breakfast?”

Ben’s dark eyes flicker to my thighs and he nods. “Yeah—yup. You can.” He stands and tugs up his pants. “Stay right there.”

I kneel and accept a plate piled high with eggs, bacon, and two English muffins. Ben leans on the cabinets and pulls me between his thighs, kissing along my hair while I gorge myself on breakfast food. It’s so damn good. I can’t help but moan when I taste butter, wolfing down my muffins, and he casually slips a huge hand between my thighs. I squirm and whimper. I know what he wants.

Ben hums in my ear, stroking my clit. “Do you like this?”

 “Yes… yes.” My grip weakens on my plate. “Inside me, please?”

 “You want me inside you, Rey?” he coos. “Want me to feel my cock?”

I almost say ‘sure, whatever,’ but manage a breathy moan instead. He kisses the crux of my neck and shoulder and strokes his long fingers while I squirm and cling to my plate and his thigh. It _does_ feel good; not that I’m going to admit that to him. I press my back to his chest, biting my lower lip to suppress more whimpers of pleasure, and Ben yanks his shirt over my shoulder to kiss and lick my skin.

 “I want to fucking tear you open.” He splits his fingers to rub through my folds, avoiding slipping them inside me. “This is a waste of friggen time.”

Ben rips the plate away from me and chucks it into the wall. It shatters, and he pushes me over on my hands and knees, bracing his palm between my shoulder blades to make me lie flat with my ass in the air. I tremble and swallow anxiously. No words come out.

He stands up and walks off down the hall. I lie there and wait, cheek pressed to the cold floor, until he walks back to the kitchen a second later and hoists me off the floor with one arm. Ben carries me into the bedroom and drops me on the bed without saying a thing.

I assume the same position, but he rolls me on my back and kneels at the foot of the bed. I squeak as he hooks his arms under my thighs to drag me to him, hooking my calves over his shoulders, then his dark eyes assess me. Still silent, Ben pushes up his shirt to my stomach and places a chaste kiss on my inner thigh that makes my skin tingle.

I’m propped on my elbows, watching him leave a slow trail of kisses along both of my thighs. He closes his eyes and rolls my skin through his teeth, sliding his long fingers under my butt to keep me in position, and I stare at the purple spots he leaves behind. It carries on for a few minutes until Ben makes his way higher and dips into my groin, drawing shivers from me.

His hazy dark eyes watch my face as his lips kiss across the mound between my thighs. It makes my cheeks burn, so I lean back and stare at the ceiling instead. Ben’s tongue laps languidly at my apex and even I can’t bite back a pleased breath from the sensation. He hums and continues, careful to avoid dipping lower, and I buck my hips against his lips.

 “Good girl,” Ben murmurs. “Good girl.”

He moves slow and gentle—not for benefit, I’m sure, but to keep my hymen intact. I writhe under his touch and roll my hips, unconcerned with such things, and tension builds quickly where his tongue laps at me. My breath hitches and I clench the sheets in my fists.

I come apart a minute later with a louder wail than I intended. Ben smirks and watches me writhe and helplessly buck my hips as the tension snaps and warm pleasure ebbs through my body. I bite down hard enough on my lower lip to draw blood, determined to hold in some of my obnoxious moans.

Ben leans across my panting form on his bed, eyebrow raised, licking his lips. His mouth quirks into a smug smile and he draws my bloody lower lip into his mouth, sucking and gazing into my wandering eyes. Fucking asshole. Fuck him.

He lets go and kisses my jaw. “Look at you, showing initiative. I knew you had it in you.” His lips brush my ear as he whispers. “You did such a good job sucking my cock. Did you like the taste of my cum?”

 “Yes,” I lie.

 “Mm. Good girl.”

Ben stands, looming over me, and I shift back on the bed towards the pillows. He crawls on top of me like a hungry animal. I think of our conversation from last night about forgetting the deal.

I smile, nervous. “I didn’t finish eating, you know.”

 “Tough shit.”

He kisses me hard, like he’s punishing me. His tongue slips in my mouth as he hovers over me and I tentatively kiss him back. My pulse pounds in my ears. If Ben won’t be nice to be, I guess I can grovel. It’s easier when we get along. He’s only really bad when he drinks.

Ben pushes a hand up my shirt and cups my breast. “You like this, don’t you?”

 “…Yes.”

 “You like being groped? Like me touching your tits?” I nod, and he nods too. “I know you do. You won’t tell your parents, right? Gonna be a good girl for me?”

Ugh. Gross. I roll my eyes and nod again as he sucks on the side of my neck. He strokes his thumb across my nipple and shifts his knees between my thighs to lie flat. His breath is warm on my skin.

Ben stifles a groan. “Fuck, Rey. I should just… fucking fuck you now.”

 “It’ll be better if you wait,” I squeak.

This time he growls like he knows I’m right and bites down on my neck. It makes me hiss in pain, but I squeal when he pinches my nipple between his fingertips. I’m right, so naturally, he’s pissed off.

He nudges my shirt up to my armpits and cups my breast, pushing up hard to suck my nipple in his mouth. I swallow and squeeze my eyes shut, intent on ignoring the pleasant tingling, but Ben’s ministrations turn tender and soft. My tight muscles unwind from the oddly relaxing sensation and soon I lie underneath him in a boneless reverie.

Ben takes my wrist to set my hand on his head. He kisses a line across my chest to my other breast and I worm my fingers through his thick hair, combing to the ends. It’s tangled but soft, which kind of surprises me. His lips move slower as I gently work the knots free until he nuzzles under my chin. He yawns, stretching his arms under the pillows behind my head and caging me under him.

 “I’m napping instead,” he mumbles.

 “Should I stop?”

 “Did I tell you to stop?”

I clench my jaw. “…Fine.” After he’s still for a few minutes I mutter ‘asshole.’

Ben laughs. “I heard that. Bitch.”

Before I can say something snarky and get in trouble, we both hear a woman swear outside.

Ben perks up like a hound on the heels of a fox and is out of bed before I can blink. He shrugs into a white tank top and grabs his tranq gun before heading out of the bedroom. I scramble after him, snatching a pair of his black shorts to wear and hurriedly slipping into my thin shoes. Ben ties his hair in a bun and kicks open the double doors to the RV.

I hear the buzz of the electrodes before I get outside. It’s warm and I kick up sand as I race around the side of the RV toward the sound of Ben’s voice cooing to someone.

 “Shh—relax. I won’t hurt you.” He laughs. “Whoever buys you might.”

The sun is rising over craggy mountains, casting an eerie white glow across the empty landscape. I see Ben kneeling between a woman’s thighs with his hand down the front of her tights. Her black hair is covered in dust as she writhes and sobs, weakly digging her heels into the ground to escape. I stare as he swears and jerks back, his middle finger streaked with pink blood.

 “Fuck!” he snaps. “Can’t believe I popped a fucking virgin—fuck!” He sucks the blood off, glaring down at her. “Whatever. Hux’ll still pay out the ass for Asian girls.”

I ball my hands into fists. “Get off her, Ben!”

The girl’s teary dark eyes roam to me and she heaves with another sob. Ben rolls his eyes and drags her to her feet by her hair, drawing a shriek. He gestures to the RV with the tranq gun and I unwillingly go back inside with him shoving the new girl along behind me.

She keeps screaming all the way into the bedroom. I sit on the couch, still stained with blood, and clasp my trembling hands in my lap. Ben shouts at her and I know he has her chained to the floor where I was not too long ago. I should save her. I should do something. I can’t sit here and listen.

But I do. I lean back and stare out the window, listening to the girl blubbering and Ben demanding to know her name. I don’t stand up. I hear her sob ‘Rose’ and hear Ben click his tongue in the same patronizing way he always does with me. The chains jangle and I squeeze my eyes shut when I hear a throaty groan of pleasure that’s definitely not from Rose.

…And I’m just glad that I’m not her.


	7. Decay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let the psychological implications BEGIIIIIIN
> 
> cw mention of noncon

Ben emerges from the bedroom about ten minutes after he locks Rose up. He’s slightly out of breath and has a sheen of sweat across his exposed collarbone and arms. He catches my blank stare and grins, peeling off his tank top and dropping it on the floor. I watch him walk to the kitchen cabinet and take out the bottle of vodka from the market.

I glower at his muscular back. “What did you do to her?”

 “I didn’t fuck her, if that’s what you’re asking.” He pours some of the clear liquor in a shot glass and tosses it back, then pours another. “Well, I didn’t fuck her cunt.”

Anger twists in my stomach but I hide it with a hurt look when Ben turns his dark eyes on me. He raises his brows, trying to get a pissed-off reaction out of me, but I don’t give it to him. I let my lower lip tremble and my eyes water as Ben approaches me with the shot glass in one hand and vodka in the other. He sits beside me and rolls his eyes, pushing the shot towards me. It sloshes on the table.

 “I could’ve done a lot worse,” Ben mutters. “Drink.”

I do what I’m told. The vodka burns down my throat and I cough and splutter as Ben takes the glass and fills it again. He rubs my back and drinks straight from the bottle.

Rose cries quietly in the bedroom. I want to go check on her, but I feel like I need to wait for permission. I have no idea how the dynamics will play out between the three of us. It would be nice to have someone else bear the brunt of Ben’s… appetite. The way the world is doesn’t leave much room for making friends or extending sympathy, especially between women. That’s how men want it. Pitting us against each other makes us even weaker.

I wince as I throw back another shot and slide away from Ben. “I should go check on her. She’s probably terrified.”

He grabs my arm and drags me back to his side. “No.”

The sound of her crying makes my skin crawl, but I’m not about to get myself in deep shit with Ben again. I grimace and rest my head on his shoulder in a silent ‘apology.’

 “I had a weird dream,” I say, changing the subject.

 “About?”

 “…You.” I shrug. “Someone asked you to marry a thirteen-year-old and you refused.”

Ben laughs and kisses the top of my head. “That’s a fucked-up dream. I told you I don’t fuck or sell kids—a couple of my buddies do, though. You know some parents had their daughters’ vaginas sewed to help hide the blood from periods? Especially the ones who had menarche early.”

Ugh. I don’t respond, too revolted by the thought of a little girl marrying a grown man and having herself mutilated to keep men from violating her. Having a period didn’t mean anything; it was just biology at work. But after the virus, if a woman had the slightest chance of being fertile, she was used for it. Protecting little girls didn’t matter in the face of extinction.

Ben wraps an arm around my waist. “Do you have periods with that thing in your arm?”

 “No. I’ve had it for a long time.”

Rose screams from the bedroom, startling me and drawing an annoyed growl from Ben. He gets up and I trail behind him to see if she looks anything like I did the first day after capture.

She’s lying on her side in one of Ben’s shirts and I feel a sick pang of jealousy. Her panties are still on—god forbid he wreck the merchandise—and her short legs thrash in terror when she sees Ben in the doorway. He circles her, opening and closing his fists, frustrated because he knows he can’t touch her and leave marks. I hover by the door and swallow. Her face is red and smeared with tears.

Ben steps on the side of her head and she wails. He looks genuinely pissed off; not sadistic like he’s enjoying hurting her. He probably just wants her to shut up.

 “Please,” Rose blubbers, “don’t touch me again! I don’t want to get pregnant.” She trails off into hysterical stammering.

He moves his foot, rolling her head on the floor. “Don’t be such a grumpy bitch. We’re all friends here, Rosie—but you have to swallow my cum before I give you any other food.” His mouth quirks into a smile. “It’s not all handjobs and rainbows here, y’know. Rey has to earn her safety here too, and so far, she’s doing a _much_ better job.”

My spine prickles when Ben’s dark eyes flicker to me. He’s trying to make us compete and turn against each other. That’s not going to fucking happen.

 “How about I give her a bath?” I suggest. “She looks kind of grimy from the desert and some of her cuts need to be cleaned. I’m sure she’ll be a lot more cooperative after.”

Ben tilts his head, looking down on me. “…Fine. Give her an ovulation test, too. I can’t risk getting her pregnant when I fuck her.”

That makes Rose cry harder. Ben gets the key from his tranq gun and leans over to free her from the floor. She flies into a panic when she’s unchained, and he wrestles her down on her stomach while I watch uncomfortably from the doorway. I turn away when Ben whispers in her ear about throwing her outside to be raped, but it does the trick. Rose silently gets to her feet and follows me to the bathroom.

Ben seizes my hips at the last second and tugs off the pants I borrowed to wear outside. He stares at me and I blink back at him innocently as he swipes them off the floor.

 “I don’t remember giving you permission to put these on,” he says coldly.

 “I’m sorry.” I bow my head and glare at the floor. “Please forgive me.”

He’s quiet for a minute, then tips my chin up with a curled index finger and kisses me. It’s gentler than usual, but insistent, and I grasp the front hem of his sweatpants and kiss him back. Ben’s hand slides around to the back of my head, fingers tangling in my hair and roughly pins me to the bathroom door. Rose jumps near the bath and wrings her hands.

Ben tugs my hair until I wince and presses his half-hard cock into my stomach. He breaks our kiss and smirks down at me squirming in pain. I just want to punch him.

 “Make sure you scrub all the dirt off my new toy,” he coos. “She needs to be fresh and clean when I fuck her later.”

I look pointedly at his lips and worm my fingertips down the hem of his pants. Ben blinks in surprise and his gaze sweeps down to my hesitant hand creeping through his pubic hair to his cock. I’m still not sure if he wants me to be totally compliant or more of a wanton compliance, so I figure I should try both.

 “What about me?” I whine. I brush my fingertips on him and he shivers. “I’ll do whatever you want, and I won’t kick and scream.” My heady gaze flickers to Rose, who’s blushing and looking away from us. “She has no idea what she’s doing—but I know what you like.”

 “True,” Ben mumbles, grip loosening in my hair. He thrusts into my curled fingers and buries his face in my neck. “But I want to fuck something, and I can’t fuck you yet.”

I wink at Rose and turn my attention back to Ben, whimpering near his ear. He pushes me so hard that the door creaks and splinters near the hinges. He gropes for the edge of the vanity and jerks his growing erection with wild abandon, like he totally forgot we were here to wash poor Rose off. Men are like animals: dangle a nice piece of meat in front of them and they can’t stop themselves.

Ben groans and wraps an arm around my waist to hold me in place. I gesture to Rose to get in the shower and she quickly hops in without another word. The water starts, but Ben doesn’t react to it—he’s hard and dripping in my hand and panting on my neck. His skin tastes like salt.

I buck my hips with another keening sound he likes. “I don’t want to share you, Ben.” Like a switch, tears well up in my eyes and I smear them on his neck, sniffling. “Please don’t make me share you.”

 “Fuck, Rey,” he groans, “stop fucking crying.”

 “Promise you won’t. Just you and me. Please?”

Ben nods spastically. “Yeah, yeah; fine. I don’t want to listen to her bitch and moan, anyway.” Then he pushes me on my knees in front of him and brushes my hair back from my face.

Before he can say anything, I take the ‘initiative’ and bring his cock in my mouth. Ben leans on the door with one hand and the other gently cups the back of my head while I bob with my eyes closed. He’s obviously a sadist at heart and likes degradation, so I drool a lot and pretend to gag and let him shove himself down my throat. Tears prick in my eyes, but Ben doesn’t last long. He rattles off a colorful list of curses and I feel him throb in my mouth, cumming in spurts into my cheek. It’s not as much as the first time but somehow worse because I can feel it swishing around.

He grabs my jaw right after, panting, and shakes his head. “Don’t swallow. Open your mouth.”

I hesitate but do what he says. Ben watches his essence spill out of my mouth, dribbling over my lower lip and down my chin like an oozing waterfall. He stares for a while until he’s satisfied, then squeezes my cheeks in one of his hands and kisses my forehead as he readjusts his pants.

 “That’s my girl.”

An unwelcome flutter of pleasure stirs in me; some animalistic part of my brain that also felt jealous when I saw Rose in Ben’s shirt. I smile until he leaves the bathroom, then scowl and retch and wash his cum off my face. Being trapped in an RV with him is making me crazy. I feel like a dog being praised for catching a fucking frisbee.

Rose peers out of the shower and snatches a towel to cover herself. She’s already covered in cuts and bruises from her time on her own and she nervously steps up next to me at the sink. I don’t look at her, too focused on scrubbing Ben’s jizz from my teeth.

 “…Thank you,” she whispers.

I shrug. “It’s okay. We have to stick together, and I know you’re scared.” I smile and pat my mouth dry. “I’m Rey—I’m with the Resistance. Ben’s a bounty hunter, obviously.”

 “Me too!” she exclaims. Then she shrinks back, eyeing the door. “Um… me too. I’m from the Resistance. Leia sent me on a mission and I kind of got lost. I’ve been wandering around avoiding men, but I was so thirsty… I thought I could sneak on the RV and get some water.”

 “Oh—shit. Come with me.”

We leave the bathroom and go out to the kitchen for some much-needed hydration. Rose’s eyes roll while she gulps down her first bottle in a minute and we sit together on the couch. Ben is prone on his bed, snoring softly. Typical man.

I heave a sigh. “Well, you’re in luck, because we’re headed back to the Resistance base. He and I have a thing worked out. But… I think he’s going to sell you off.”

Rose nods, but her lower lip trembles and she bursts into tears all over again. I can’t really blame her and I’m not about to push her away. We hug and cling to each other, both terrified of this strange, unfriendly world, and I enjoy the embrace of someone who isn’t trying to fuck me. She’s small and frail; Ben’s total opposite. I squeeze. I could probably snap her in half.

But I don’t. We hug for a longer time than necessary, until Ben wakes up from his nap and shuffles out to tell us how hot we look. That breaks it up and Rose flinches when he runs his fingers through her damp black hair. He’s toying with her—and me.

I get up and make sandwiches with Ben’s arms wrapped around my waist from behind. He trails kisses across my neck and slips his fingers between my legs while I’m trying to work. I pant and squirm until I climax with a soft moan and Ben bent over my back, murmuring in my ear the entire time. Rose silently watches television. She’s in total shock.

Ben noses in my hair. “You like showing off in front of her, Rey?”

 “…Yes.” I nod, staring at the sandwiches.

 “Mm. I wonder if Rosie knows how to come.” His breath is hot on my ear and I think of the devil-on-the-shoulder archetype. “Can you help her figure it out? Maybe play around in my bed together?”

My stomach turns. I lose my appetite and hold back puke. My arms tremble on the counter and I can’t make up another fake response. I’m so tired.

Ben laughs gently and takes a plate. “Come on, Rey—aren’t you trying to protect her from my cock?” His long fingers fan across my stomach and push my butt into his groin. “You’ll be much gentler, I’m sure.”

 “I… I’d rather not,” I manage.

 “Well one of us needs to fuck around with her. So, who will it be?” Ben kisses my cheek and pats my stomach. “Mull it over. We’ll talk more later.”

Ben leaves me standing at the counter with my sandwich in front of me. I hear Rose thank him for hers and angry tears burn in my eyes. My heart is torn in a million different fucked-up directions and I don’t know which one I hate more.


	8. Wrench

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this......... is too short to have taken so long

The three of us sit together on the bloodstained couch watching reruns of _Cheers_.

Ben parks himself between Rose and me with his long arms stretched across the back of the couch. He has another white tank top on and a cigarette hanging loosely from his lips, curling smoke in the air. Rose shivers and keeps her arms crossed over her chest. I glance at her when I can, hoping she’ll catch my eye and notice a subtle shake of the head. No; _stop_. You’re making yourself an easy, obvious victim.

Our captor taps my shoulder, signaling for me to help him with his cancer stick. I smile at him and slip the rotten thing from his mouth between my index and middle fingers. Ben stares back at me, exhaling a curl of silvery smoke, and cups my jaw to draw me into a passionate kiss. I grimace at the acrid taste of cigarette but kiss him back as he tangles his fingers in my hair and groans.

The sitcom audience laughs. Ben rolls my lower lip through his teeth and breaks our kiss with a wet pop. He leans back and plucks his cigarette from my fingers, taking a long drag and raising an eyebrow towards Rose. She peeks at him and quickly looks away.

He laughs and blows the smoke in her face. “Why so glum, Mulan?”

 “My name is Rose,” she mumbles.

 “Eh. Mulan’s better.” He combs his fingers through her black hair, smiling. “So, why don’t you share your tale of woe with the group?”

Rose keeps her eyes trained on the floor. “…It’s not that interesting. I’m just another orphan.”

Ben doesn’t respond. He keeps smiling and touching her hair and my spine prickles. He’s planning something. I don’t want him to hurt her, but I don’t want him to hurt me.

He curls his arm around Rose’s waist, yanking her to his side. I watch him nose in her hair like he does to mine and catch his long fingers slipping under the hem of her panties. My jaw clenches at the sight of his knuckles stretching the fabric, writhing between her legs as she tries to pull away. He holds her tight, whispering in her ear, and she chokes and squirms. I sit in silence and stare at the cigarette in his fingers as it glows and burns.

 “Have you ever done this before?” Ben asks, flicking his ashes.

Rose shakes her head once. He makes a vague sound of pity and leans back a little to take another drag from his cigarette before dropping it on the floor. His dark eyes watch me smugly as he puts it out with the heel of his boot, Rose whimpering and squirming at his side. I bristle when I see both of her small hands clinging to Ben’s gently shifting in her panties.

 “Look how much Rosie likes being played with,” Ben coos. He presses his forehead to the side of her head and sighs. “What do you think—should we let Rey join in?”

 “No—no; I don’t want to.” Rose shakes her head and gasps. “Please—”

Ben stands suddenly and sucks on the fingers that were in Rose’s underwear. He walks out to the kitchen for a bottle of gin and pours two glasses. I hope I’m being left out, but Ben hands one to me and the other to Rose. He tips the bottle to his lips, eyeing us staring at the liquor. I can see my exhausted, frightened expression reflected in the rippling clear liquid.

It’s supposed to help us relax. Rose meets my eyes and I give her a subtle nod. Just do it. If we don’t, the consequences will be much worse.

She squeezes her eyes shut and takes a sip, gagging on the taste. Ben laughs and ruffles her hair. He looms over her while she slowly drinks down the first glass, but I power through mine and ask for another. I need to be extremely drunk for this. I want to be blackout drunk. Rose and I can both forget it when we get back to the Resistance and Leia and we’ll never have to deal with Ben again.

My mouth tastes like poison after two glasses. Rose gets drunk faster and soon she’s giggling and swaying on the couch. Ben pets her head and smiles at her. I still feel sick at the thought of ‘playing around’ so I chug back two more glasses of gin. Come on, come on. If I’m drunk enough it’ll all fade away.

Ben brings out something that looks like a fat cigarette. I’m dizzy now, not happy like Rose, and fighting to keep my eyes open. He sits between us and ignores Rose singing to herself to light the end of the weird wrapped object. I squint and grab his thigh to get a look at it. Ben smirks and holds it between his index finger and thumb to take a drag.

I scowl. “That smells terrible.”

He exhales a plume of smoke and offers the thing to me. “It’s a blunt. Try it.”

The alcohol inspires me. I shrug and let Ben press the end to my lips and I take a long pull. It burns down into my lungs and I splutter and cough. He laughs and watches me wave my hands.

 “Ow!” I rub my chest, wincing. “Ick!”

 “It’s just weed, Rey. It’ll help you relax.” He shrugs, smoking from the blunt right after me. “Someone should open her up a little so it doesn’t hurt as much when she gets fucked. She’s scared of my dick, so guess you can do the honors.”

It tickles me thinking of being scared of a penis. I burst out laughing and Ben raises his eyebrows and nods kind of ruefully.

We pass the blunt back and forth for a while until I have a _really_ pleasant buzz going. I sink to the floor and crawl between Ben’s knees with my eyes half-open, tugging the hem of his sweatpants to get to his cock. He gazes at me and takes another hit from the blunt as I curl my fingers around his length.

 “Y’know—” He’s cut off with a low groan when I lick a bead of precum from the head of his cock. “I had a dream… about where you’d be.” He brushes my hair back from my face, curving his fingertips under my jaw. “Best dream I’ve ever had.”

I smile and gently draw him into my mouth and Ben smiles back.

Rose is asleep, thank god. She snores while Ben runs his fingers through my hair and I slowly suck, groggy and oddly horny. He shifts his hips once or twice and whispers ‘keep going’ when I pause. So I do, all the way to Ben moaning and twitching in my mouth. He grunts and looks right at me when he climaxes and fills my cheek with cum. It sends a quiver of pleasure right between my legs.

Ben waits until I finish swallowing before he stands up abruptly, scooping me off the floor. I squeak in surprise but laugh as he kisses all along my neck and stumbles down the hall to the bedroom.

 “I’m gonna fuck you,” he mutters.

He drops me on the messy sheets and stares down at me giggling and rolling from side to side. For a second he smiles back, then his dark eyes widen. I keep laughing and spread my legs and lick my lips. Come on—I want him to fuck me already.

Ben steps back. “…Rey?”

 “Ben?” I gasp, thinking he’s playing. I descend into another giggle fit.

 “W—What are you doing?!” He stumbles back with a horrified look on his face and covers his eyes. “What the _fuck?!”_

I’m too wasted and confused to be helpful. I sit up and clutch my head as Ben hurries to cover me with a blanket and rubs his eyes with a pained groan. What the hell is going on?!

 “Did I do something wrong?” I whimper. “I thought you liked blowjobs?”

Ben stares at me through his fingers. “ _What?!”_

Rattling from the front door startles us. We turn just in time to see a man in a brown jacket step onto the RV with a tranq gun brandished. He notices Ben and I staring at him and aims to fire.

I shove Ben to the floor as electrodes snap towards us and buzz overhead. He yelps and blushes when I land on top of him and struggle to get up. I’m confused as hell, but I snag his tranq gun from the nightstand and charge the electrodes. They hum with a low whir as I edge toward the bedroom doorway and peer down the hall.

The man shoots to kill with bullets this time. I draw back with a sharp hiss and Ben keeps groaning on the floor. Rose is out in the living space and I’m not about to let some freak take her away. I take a few steadying breaths with my eyes closed, then spin into the doorway and discharge the electrodes.

They meet their target and the man goes down with a howl of agony. The electrodes snap back into the tranq gun and I rush to take the stranger’s weapon.

Rose is waking up. She notices the man and gasps, rushing to his side just as I take his tranq gun. I stand over him and am about to ask her what the hell she’s thinking when Ben walks up behind me.

I woozily turn to glare at him. “Thanks a lot!”

He takes both tranq guns, inspecting the one from the stranger, and raises an eyebrow.

 “Resistance, hm? Finding an awful lot of you lately.” Ben nudges the guy with his foot as he wakes up. “Trying to make a little cash on the side?”

Rose touches the man protectively. “This… This is Finn. He defected from the First Order and saved me from slavery. We were working under cover together when we got split up.”

 “Isn’t that nice?” Ben drawls.

Finn coughs and Rose helps him sit up. He looks between Ben and me and wipes his forehead.

 “Leia Organa sent us,” Finn says. He coughs again. “And she won’t be happy if we don’t come back. She’s looking for her son, Ben Solo, and her adopted daughter, Rey. Any idea where they might be? There’s a reward.”

 “Son?” I echo. “Ben Solo?” I look up into Ben’s dark eyes and my mouth falls open. “You—You’re Leia’s _son?!”_

Everyone starts talking at once. I’m way too fucked up to follow and my eyes roll back. I faint, and thankfully Ben catches me.


	9. Delusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eeeeeeee  
> warning: underage sexual contact and mild dubcon

_“Hey, kid—can we talk?”_

_I’m in a big bedroom with a romcom playing. It’s my room, in the house I share with Leia and Han. I glance up from munching on a bag of chips and smile when I see Ben Solo hovering in the doorway, pale face strained and sad. He smiles, though, and sits next to me on my bed when I scoot over._

_“How was the trip?” I chirp. I’m fourteen and I still don’t get what’s happening in the world. I don’t understand how bad things are becoming._

_He runs his fingers through his black mane. “Good. Boring. Mom can’t shut the fuck up.” His dark eyes flicker to me and his throat bobs. “So… the world is starting to change, Rey.”_

_“I know.” My world hasn’t changed much since Leia rescued me from the orphanage._

_Ben looks like he wants to disappear. He hesitantly puts a big hand on my knee and I beam up at him, chewing with my mouth open. We’ve been close ever since we met. He used to be funny and carefree and a big tease like Han. Lately he has dark circles under his eyes and spends most of his time staring off at nothing. He’s always running errands for Leia._

_Ben draws his hand back and flexes it, and his eyes glimmer with tears. “…We’re going on a trip together, alright? Me and you.”_

_I squeal and fling my arms around his neck. Finally! The last year or two has been so miserable with him never being around. He’s helping Leia move other orphan girls out to Montana and he’s been avoiding me, and now we get to spend some time together._

_Ben hugs me fiercely and cries into my neck. I’m not sure why, but I won’t question it._

Memories flood back to me. I wake up in Ben’s bed in the RV and it clicks in my head. It’s the same one from our trip. I can remember sitting next to him up front with my feet on the dash, singing along with the radio while he stared blankly at the road…

_“She’s immune.”_

_Ben hunches over in his chair while I play on my phone. Some doctor gave me a blood test. I can’t contract the virus. We drove all the way to a government facility in California to find out._

_“What now?” Ben croaks._

_The doctor shrugs. “You know as well as I do that it’s only a matter of time before she’s taken. If she’s already married and in use, she’ll be left alone. It depends on what you’re willing to do, Mister Solo. Marriage is a good first start.”_

_I make a face and gag. “Ewww! Ben and I aren’t  getting_ married _!” Laughing, I look over at him. “Right?”_

_Ben gives me a long, pensive look before he smiles weakly. “…Right.”_

Rose snorts in disdain. “I didn’t think he was _that_ Ben! _That_ Ben would never do things like this!”

 “Things have changed, Rose,” Finn says. “He could’ve been captured and brainwashed. In fact, he probably was.”

Something shatters and I hear Ben snarl.

 “My bitch mother is lying!” he spits. “I’ve always been this way, and I don’t feel bad about it.”

_Ben brings me on a longer road trip, way up north to Oregon—just us. Leia gives me lots of kisses before we go. It’s just before my fifteenth birthday._

_I sing the whole way but Ben stays quiet. He cries in the bathroom when we pull over for the night, but I’m afraid to say anything. The laws are changing fast and Leia is moving girls as fast as she can, but people are still in denial. I’ve heard her whisper to Ben about marriage and consummation. I don’t know what the second word means, but it makes him mad._

_We’re legally married, by paperwork. Leia says it’s not a big deal—it’s for show. I’m getting older and now I’m not sure how I feel about Ben. He’s been like a brother, but now I notice things, like how tall and strong he is. I think I like his long, morose face and his sharp nose. Maybe I’m crazy._

_We stop at a cabin in the middle of nowhere. I gasp when I get out, not realizing it’s going to be my prison in another year or so. We’re surrounded by towering redwoods and blue, cloudless sky. It’s peaceful and quiet; a nice change of pace from the stress at home._

_Ben follows behind me with our bags, and unlocks the door to let me inside the cabin._

_It’s not big. It has some furniture that kind of matches, and area rugs that don’t match. I wander in and out of the rooms: one bedroom, a bathroom, and a kitchen. It’s tiny._

_“Rey.”_

_I turn and see Ben staring at me. He drops our stuff on the floor and locks the door. My heart patters nervously and butterflies flutter in my belly._

_But I smile like always. “Is this like a vacation?”_

_“…Yeah. Someone’s going to visit us in a few days, and I want you to be ready for it.”_

_“All the way out here? Weird.”_

_He looks away. “Why don’t you go shower and meet me in the living room?”_

Screaming wakes me up. It’s Ben, and it’s because he’s mad. Finn and Rose argue with him for a while and I pass back out when he calms down and cries.

_The water pressure kind of sucks here. I struggle for a while before I give up and drench my hair, shivering with pleasure from the warmth. It feels okay. I’m used to the nice showers at Leia’s house._

_Ben is waiting in the living room. He smiles when he sees me and scooches over to give me room on the couch. I snuggle under his arm as he turns on an old movie and rubs me close to his ribs. His heart thrums steadily under my ear. I feel safe._

_We lie that way for a while. Ben’s arm around my waist slides lower, heading between my thighs, and I frown. He strokes my hand on his hard belly with his fingertips and breathes in my hair. I shiver._

_“…Ben?” I whisper._

_“Shh,” he whispers back. “Do you trust me, Rey?”_

_I nod. Of course I do. He nods, too, and I hear him cry a little. Ben squeezes my hand and nuzzles my ear._

_“I love you so much,” he chokes._

_His fingers worm between my thighs and I gasp in surprise. It feels good—really good. I whimper and cling to Ben’s shirt and he sniffles and drips tears in my hair. The cabin is dead silent. It’s just us, me writhing under Ben’s touch and him crying. I don’t know why he’s so upset. I love how it feels._

_I swallow hard. “Should.. should I stop?”_

_“…No.” Ben suddenly pulls me in his lap, spreading my legs, and brushes my hair back from my face. “I’m trying to introduce you to things, Rey. I want you to be ready when the agent comes Friday to watch us. Then you’ll be safe, and no one else will take you.”_

_He strokes me back and forth in his lap and I squirm and try to get closer. It feels so good. I bury my face in his neck and kind of get what he means—we’re going to have sex, and someone will make sure we do. They watch now, to make sure healthy girls are being used right._

_Ben keeps going until I buck my hips on my own, chasing fleeting pleasure flickering between my thighs. He rubs my back when it crests and I whimper in confusion and pleasure._

_It ebbs through my body after as I slump against Ben’s chest. He strokes my hair and cries again._

_“I never wanted to do this,” he simpers. “I really didn’t. But I want you to be ready—I don’t want to scare you. After the agent leaves, you never have to let me touch you again. Okay?”_

_“…Okay.”_

Terrified, I gasp as I fly up in bed. I can remember all of it. I remember Ben touching me over the course of several days, getting me accustomed to his penis and experiencing orgasms, and I don’t know how I ever forgot it. But I’m still intact. We never had sex.

Ben comes down the hallway and stops at the foot of the bed. He’s upset like I am and crawls across the sheets to lie beside me while Rose and Finn argue from the sitting area. I scramble to sit up.

 “You!” I hiss. “You’re Leia’s _son?!”_

He rolls on his back, scowling. “Unfortunately. Before you ask, I don’t remember any of the shit about us. I’m not in to molesting kids.”

 “ _Why didn’t you tell me—”_

 “It’s fucking embarrassing. My mother is a cunt, and I see she raised a cunt in turn.”

I slap Ben across the face and he snarls and seizes my wrists. Leia is a saint. How dare he insult her?!

I grit my teeth. “She never mentioned a son!”

 “Clearly we’ve both been brainwashed,” Ben retorts. “My bitch mother has a device to heal our minds in the Resistance, so I guess we really _are_ going there.”

 “That was the fucking deal, asshole!”

Ben pins me on my back and kneels between my thighs. He glares down at me, dark eyes cold and angry, and I glare back. That was our deal. Unless… he never planned on honoring it.

My chest tightens. “You weren’t bringing me, were you?”

His jaw shifts. “I don’t know. I was… I am. But…” Ben shoves away from me, getting to his feet. “What the fuck ever. We’ll get this shit settled.”

 “Keeping me as a sex slave?!” I hiss. “You’re a fucking embarrassment to your mother.”

 “Fuck you, Rey. This is the way the world is. Men fuck women and women deal with it. I’ve been patient and nice and I didn’t even rape you like most men would. You saw them drooling over you. I’ve been better, even if I don’t have to be.”

It _is_ the way of the world, and it’s fucking vile. I keep my mouth shut as Ben stalks off to find Rose and Finn. I’ll be back to Leia soon and she’ll sort everything out. That’s all I need. Leia.

Rose comes to the bedroom after a while to sit beside me. She isn’t the nervous girl from yesterday, now confident with Finn around. I cover my head with the sheets and ignore her. She has protection through Finn, but I have none. I’m at Ben’s mercy.

She touches my leg. “…I knew who you were, Rey. I’m sorry, but I was scared. I didn’t realize…”

 “It’s okay,” I spat back, “I’m used to letting Ben use me like a toy. Hope it helped you out.”

 “Rey—”

The door creaks. “That’s enough, Mulan. Get.”

Rose huffs and storms out, leaving me alone with Ben. I keep my face covered as he walks closer and realize he’s shut the door. Rose has her boytoy now, so she doesn’t need me protecting her. I feel sick. I sacrificed for her—I let Ben come in my mouth.

He sits beside my legs but doesn’t touch. We remain silent. Rose laughs from the sitting room.

Ben huffs. “She’s a cunt like the rest.”

 “ _Ben._ ”

 “She is a cunt.” He glances down at me and rubs his nose. “I know blowing me was a sacrifice. You protected her, and this is how she repays you? She’s a cunt.” His dark eyes shift, cheeks red. “You’re not. That’s the fucking problem.”

I wring my hands under the comforter. “It wasn’t a sacrifice. I mean, it wasn’t that dramatic.”

 “Yeah, whatever. Point stands. You swallowed my cum and came on to me to protect her—right?”

It should’ve been an easy answer. I stare up at Ben and he stares back, and smiles. He gets a cheeky grin and throws back the sheets to curl up beside me in bed. He’s warm and fucking huge and I squeal when he kisses my neck. The bedroom is quiet.

 “Didn’t think so,” Ben mumbles. He shifts closer and the bed creaks. “You’re a good girl, Rey—too good. I hope I can respect that.”

Before I can protest, Ben rolls on his back and pulls me on top of him. He gazes into my eyes as he guides my hips back and forth in his lap until I climax with a soft moan. I don’t know what to do or what to think. I come down from my orgasm and lean on the headboard to let Ben fuck my mouth.

It feels good. So good. It feels like freedom. I close my eyes and listen to Ben’s sharp grunts as his cock rubs the roof of my mouth. He feels right. I like the salty taste of his precum.


	10. Defile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i randomly wanted to update this lmao  
> this is super dark so  
> major character death

We head for the Resistance to find our answers.

Rose fills us in a bit along the way. Apparently, from what Leia gathered, Ben couldn’t go through with it and killed the agent when he arrived to watch us. He took off and was probably captured, but left me behind where no one would find me. Leia came to check on us when we never showed at the growing Resistance base and decided I should stay there until Ben popped up or things became safer.

 “She has some tech from the Republic,” Finn says. “It can wipe memories. She thought you might go looking for Ben if you remembered and wanted him to come find you. But guess he was brainwashed and never did.”

Ben grunts from the driver’s seat. “I had dreams about it. I don’t remember shit about the kid, though.”

Rose beams from Finn’s lap. “Well now you know that you were nice to Rey and loved her, so you can be nice now! Right?”

I’m in the passenger seat, studying my nails. Like it’s that easy. All those feelings are gone and neither of us can make them suddenly come back. There’s a huge chunk of my life I don’t remember and I’m technically married to Ben. I feel like I lost more memories than Leia intended.

Ben scoffs. “Yeah, right. What my mother did four years ago hardly matters now. It is what it is.” He raises his eyebrows at me. “We’re still banging.”

 “Charming,” I mutter, not looking up.

Finn laughs from the living room. “You guys are married, so what’s the big deal?”

Rose shakes her head quickly, but the damage is done. I shoot Finn a dirty look and storm off to the bedroom to stew bitterly on my own. I don’t remember Ben at all and I don’t care if we’re ‘technically’ married. Leia will step in when we get back and do what’s right to protect me.

We pull over for the night because Ben refuses to let anyone else drive. He leaves Rose and Finn out in the living room and barges into the bedroom where I’m still moping, swinging the keys on his fingertip. He’s wearing red plaid, like a fucking moron. I glare at him and slowly sit up.

 “What?!” he snaps. “I remember about as much as you, kid. Quit giving me that pissy look.”

 “What happened to me being a good girl?!” I retort.

He scratches his head and climbs into bed beside me, huffing. “You’ve been a bitch all day over something I can’t fucking control. I’m not here to be your punching bag.”

I burst out laughing. “You’re kidding! After all the shit you’ve done to _me_?!”

Ben rolls his eyes as he rolls on his side away from me. Irritated, I puff up my cheeks and follow, but he turns on his stomach to keep from looking at me. I climb on his back and pull his hair to make him get up, which just makes him growl and roll on his back to flatten me underneath him.

I kick my legs and squeal. “Get OFF!”

 “Quit being a bitch and I’ll get off.” He grabs my hands when I try to scratch his stomach and pushes them down towards his crotch. “Guess you can jerk me off while you’re here.”

 “Ben, quit being a motherfu—”

The roar of an engine and crunch of tires on gravel startles both of us. We stop dead.

Ben jumps to his feet and snatches his tranq gun off the nightstand. He flings open the bedroom door as his gun charges and I catch sight of Finn already at the door with his own gun pointed at it. Deep voices mingle outside, laughing and whirring their own tranq guns to life.

I scramble out of bed to put on a pair of Ben’s shorts and grab a knife out of the nightstand. The doors rattle at the front of the RV. _Fuck._

 “Solo!” calls a familiar voice. “How’s that bounty of yours doing?”

Rose darts past Ben to the back of the RV with me. I catch Ben’s eye and he clenches his jaw, gaze flickering up and down my body. Poe Dameron is back. How the hell did he find us?

Loud popping sounds fill the air—they’re blowing the tires. Rose squeals and Finn opens a window to fire bullets at the attackers, which they quickly volley back. Ben keeps staring at me like he’s making the hardest decision of his life. I stare back at him and squeeze the hilt of my knife.

 “Up front, Mulan!” Ben snaps.

Rose skitters past him as Ben advances toward me and holsters his tranq gun on the hem of his sweatpants. I take a couple steps back but he snags me around the waist and sucks on his middle finger. I squirm, slapping his chest.

 “What are you doing?!” I demand. “Let _go_!”

The front door bangs open. Ben’s throat bobs as he shoves his hand down the front of my pants and locks his arm around my body to keep me from escaping. My eyes widen when I feel his middle finger slip lower, prodding gently, then curve underneath to my entrance. He buries his face in my hair and abruptly tears my hymen with a thrust of his middle finger.

I squeal in pain and yank on his shirt but he refuses to let go. He sweeps in a gentle way to make sure it’s really torn while I grit my teeth, trying not to cry. My body tightens at the intrusion and squeezes so tight on Ben’s finger that he groans and kisses the tears running down my cheeks. He tentatively pushes deeper inside me and I hide my face in his chest.

He huffs. “Fuck—fucking tight—” More kisses pepper the side of my head. “I’m sorry, kid. Now they won’t want you.”

I nod, scrunching my face up. Now I’m not worth a bunch of money and not worth starting a scuffle over. I’m shocked Ben did it. Now he doesn’t get the satisfaction of ripping me open when we have sex, and he lost a huge bounty.

 “Ben, a little help?!”

Finn is pinned down under the windows, frantically recharging his tranq gun. He doesn’t even have a shirt on and I notice Rose is missing her pants. I’m tempted to make a snarky comment, but it doesn’t seem like the time.

Ben carefully withdraws his finger and sucks the blood off, eyeing me before he turns and heads for the front of the RV. I watch him kick the doors open and shout for Poe. The hail of bullets and buzz of tasers stops.

I stand at the ready with Rose behind me again, trembling, but ready to stab whoever I have to. Pain throbs between my legs and I know I’m bleeding. I’m glad the looming threat of having my hymen torn is finally gone. It’s done. No more worrying about it or the pain or what horrible man will buy me to have the opportunity to break it.

Ben takes a step back to allow Poe on the RV with Connix flanking him. They’re both dressed the same as before, in dusty jeans and jackets, Poe with a tranq gun and Connix with a pistol. She blows a bubble of gum and glances at Rose and me. A smile spreads across her face.

 “She’s not a virgin,” Ben says, rolling his eyes. “You fucked up my ride for no reason. I’ve been fucking her for a while now.” He raises his eyebrows to Rose. “Isn’t that right, Mulan? Don’t I fuck Rey?”

Rose scowls. “ _Yes._ ”

Finn nods, holstering his weapon. “It’s true. Heard them last night. Solo’s a two pump chump, if you know what I mean.”

Ben shoots him an acidic glare. “Yeah, so is this fuckhead. It’s why we’re such good _friends._ ” He gestures toward Rose. “He fucks the Asian bitch. Told him Hux pays good money, but guess we both prefer sex. You’re not going to start shit over used goods, are you?”

Poe raises an eyebrow and glances at Connix. She’s still eyeing me and I glower back, fully intent on stabbing her in the throat if she puts her hand down my pants again.

 “Mind if I check?” Poe asks, also holstering his tranq gun.

 “Connix can,” Ben replies tersely.

Poe smiles and shakes his head. “No…” He makes a show of sucking his middle finger until it’s shiny with spit. “ _I_ want to check.”

All of them look back at Rose and me and I scowl. I’m not letting him shove his dirty fingers up my cunt. I think I’d rather be traded off.

 “Then you’ll leave?” Ben asks brusquely.

 “Yep. I have no need for your cum dumpster.”

Ben mutters something and jerks his head toward me, motioning for Poe to follow. My scowl deepens and I back up with Rose right behind me. They’re not doing this to me again—I’m not letting some strange person touch me.

But I’m at the mercy of men again, like I always am. Ben comes up first and seizes my wrist holding the knife, twisting to make me let go. It clatters to the floor and he doesn’t respond to my shrieking as he restrains my arms behind my back. He stands right behind me and I have to look at the smug smirk on Poe’s face as he comes closer.

Rose picks up the knife with quivering hands but Finn slips into the room and drags her away. Connix comes to lean on the wall and watch.

There’s a lot of men talking outside, so I know if I fight back and scream I’ll just make things worse. I bite hard on my lower lip to keep myself quiet and Poe pouts his lower lip at me, sucking on his middle finger again.

 “It’s just to check, angel,” he coos. He tugs open the front of my pants and smiles at me as his hand slips inside. “Quick little poke.”

 “Get it over with!” Ben barks, squeezing my wrists behind my back.

Poe rolls his eyes at Ben and I stiffen when his wet fingertip prods my folds. It still stings and I have a hard time concealing my wincing as he slowly worms his way deeper. My toes curl on the floor. His thumb brushes my clit, finger carrying on.

I swallow hard and try to ignore it. Poe deliberately strokes with his thumb and breathes in my ear, curving his finger underneath and inside me. It stings like crazy and I whine, struggling against Ben’s hold, and Poe takes a sharp breath as my body clenches like it did with Ben.

 “ _Fuck_ she’s tight!” Poe laughs. He pushes deeper and little flickers of pleasure pulse from him stroking my clit. “How many times have you fucked her?”

Ben presses closer behind me. “Enough. Now fuck off.”

The mood shifts. Connix shrugs off the wall and saunters closer to press the barrel of her pistol right against the side of my head. Poe settles closer to me and kisses my cheek.

 “I don’t think Poe is done yet,” Connix muses.

I kick my feet and shriek again, but Poe shushes me and keeps going. His warm breath comes back to my ear as Ben starts shouting about how he’s going to kill both of them the first chance he gets. I whimper, fighting back tears.

 “Shh,” Poe whispers, “it’s okay. If you come for me, I’ll fix the tires on the RV. You don’t want to be stuck in the middle of nowhere, right?”

His fingers edge my unwilling body closer to the edge. I shake my head and he nods in response. The more he thrusts his finger, the tighter I get, until it becomes borderline painful. Poe rubs loose circles around my clit and stills his finger when I make a weak buck of my hips. Tension builds and I pull at Ben’s undershirt, desperate to get away—but I have nowhere to go.

I twist my face away from Poe’s and clench my jaw when I climax. He follows, kissing my neck, and I do everything I can ignore the rhythmic pulsing inside me. Connix pushes harder with her gun on my head until it ends as fast as it came.

Poe withdraws his hand and licks his fingers, staring past me at Ben. My knees give out and I start crying as Ben tries to catch me and move me to the bed. I can still feel his finger like it’s imprinted inside my body.

 “I can barely feel my finger,” Poe jokes, turning to Connix. “Tell the men to fix the tires. We’re rolling out after they’re done.”

She nods and leaves the RV with a smirk, casting Rose a wink on her way. Finn brandishes his tranq gun at Connix and almost follows her out.

I roll over on the bed to cry into the pillows and Ben pulls the blankets over me. He draws back and I see Poe still grinning at me, happy with what he’s done, but Ben’s dark eyes are hard and distant. His jaw shifts and he glances at Poe.

 “How do you get your dick in her?” Poe asks, nudging Ben with his elbow. “Does she scream?”

Ben closes his eyes. “ _No._ ”

 “Oh. Huh.” Poe scratches his head and shrugs. “Well, you know how it is. Just wanted to take her for a test drive.”

 “Yeah.” Ben flicks the safety on his tranq gun, face blank. “I know how it is.”

He keeps his gaze on me as he shoots Poe square in the center of his forehead. My attacker blinks once as a thin line of bright red blood trickles down his face. He falls with a thud, and I jump in shock. Holy _shit_ — _holy shit._

Ben steps over Poe’s corpse, turning away. “I’ll be back. I’m going to shoot Connix in her smug fucking mouth and kill the rest of ‘em.” He stops at the door, then turns back and maybe stomps on Poe’s fingers. I hear loud cracking. “Mother _fucker._ ”

He leaves after that and I slide down lower in the sheets, trembling. I feel disgusting.


	11. Honeymoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look this update didn't take eight years

As promised, Ben finishes killing the rest of the group. I lie silently in the bed, throbbing between my legs while bullets rain outside and men scream and shout. Finn goes to help him and Rose leaves the RV when they’re done. I’m alone.

I stare at Poe’s dead body and hope he’s burning in Hell with the rest of his gang. Men are beasts. I don’t care if they’re brainwashed like Ben—they’re _beasts_ , and I hate all of them. I don’t want another one to touch me ever again.

The doors open after a bit. Ben steps in the bedroom, covered in blood, and he unhooks his tranq gun from his hip. He drops it carelessly to the floor and stares at me as he approaches without saying a word. I turn over on my back and bare my teeth at him.

 “Get away from me!” I spit.

He wipes off a bloody hand on his pants and climbs into bed with me. I hiss and kick my legs, aiming for his dick, but he pins my ankles apart. Ben uses his weight to restrain me to the bed and I scream and thrash like a crazy person.

 “I went and killed all of them for you,” he whispers in my ear. “Shot them all between the eyes.” He wrestles down another jolt of my limbs and pants in my hair. “And last I heard, you’re my wife, Rey—which means I really _do_ own you.”

 “You don’t own me!” I hiss.

The bed creaks as Ben tries to contain me. He buries his face in the pillows and slips a hand down the front of my borrowed shorts. I huff and claw at his broad back as he draws his fingers through my folds, lingering around my clit. It tingles pleasurably, but I keep resisting.

His middle finger pushes lower and slides inside me with no warning. Ben swears and hesitates, pulling back a bit, but makes shallow thrusts until he’s buried in me up to the knuckle. Pain pulses all along my inner walls and I try to push him off with my soles to his ankles. It hurts. It hurts just as much as when Poe did it.

Ben kisses my cheek hard. “Relax, kid. I take good care of my property.”

I don’t have a hymen anymore—I don’t have a bargaining chip. Rose and Finn are nowhere to be seen and I’m not entirely sure Ben’s left them alive. He pumps his finger and strokes my clit with his thumb, now ignoring my struggling because it’s grown so pathetic. I accidentally whimper.

 “It’s just us now.” His kisses become gentler and his tongue brushes my skin. “Rosie and Finn are heading straight back to the Resistance without you. You can moan as much as you want.”

 “You’re supposed to take me!” I snap.

Ben leans back and peels off his shirt. He smiles and unbuckles his belt without looking away.

 “Well, you never gave me a timeframe, wifey.”

I slap him across the face. He grins, peeling off his shirt, and casts it to the floor. I’m alone here with him and a corpse and this is how my first time is going to be remembered. A deal is a deal but he’s threatening not to deliver on his end.

 “You have to bring me to Leia!” I feel dread when Ben’s cock comes into view. “I’m not doing this yet! Cut it out!”

 “Well there’s no one around to stop me.” He pushes off his pants and boxers, stroking his cock and looming over me between my thighs. “So, we can do this the easy way or the hard way, but I’m not fixing the tires until I fuck you.”

I swallow hard. “I’ll fix them. I’ll fix the tires.”

Ben pauses in what he’s doing and bursts out laughing. I glower up at him, pressing my lips together, and he keeps laughing as he gets out of bed. Thank fuck.

“Okay,” he acquiesces, swiping up his pants. “Go change the tires. I’m gonna wash off Connix’s blood and dump Poe’s body.”

I scramble out of bed and readjust my shorts. Ben slaps my ass on my way past him and I jump a little, surprised. He winks when I flip him off.

It’s warm and dry outside. There’s nothing but towering red mountains in the distance and flat, empty land as far as the eye can see. I take a few careful steps down the stairs and see a pile of dead bodies near a second RV. It’s gray, bigger than Ben’s, and looks newer.

My bare feet stumble across the craggy, hot earth, skirting the heap of corpses. Connix is at the top with a knife stuck in her forehead. Buzzards lurk on the periphery, croaking and plucking at the exposed skin they can reach. I glance over my shoulder at the RV and shudder. Ben is capable of some awful things.

Another set of tire tracks leads off into the desert. A pang of anger hits me when I realize Rose and Finn abandoned me with Ben. They’ve probably gone back to tell Leia, who will come looking, but they could’ve brought me with them.

I find the four tires leaning together by the repair panel. Blood stains the dusty ground, which means someone was probably about to replace them. I find the tools I need and begin the tedious process and changing out all four tires under the boiling afternoon sun. Where are we, Utah?

Ben comes outside to watch when I’m on the second tire. It’s extremely time-consuming and I’m extremely hot. I glance up at him from the ground and he smiles, raising his eyebrows. He has his hair up in a bun and a tumbler of whiskey. He also has shoes, which must be nice.

 “What?” I huff. “I’m doing it.”

 “I know.” He squints at the buzzards feasting on Connix’s open eyes. “Isn’t nature beautiful?”

I ignore him. Ben leaves after a bit to add Poe’s body to the pile, then heads over to the other RV. He goes back and forth, but I’m too intent on my work to pay attention. My muscles quiver from the exertion and I struggle with the third tire before I’m even considering the fourth. I’m covered in dirt and sweat and grease.

Night falls as I finish up the fourth tire. I collapse on the ground, too exhausted to continue, and barely look up when Ben strolls up to me. The tip of his cigarette lights up red in the black darkness.

He whistles. “Well done, Rey. Didn’t think you could do it.” His head cocks, mocking me. “You seem tired.”

I nod weakly. Ben nods and takes another drag, then puts the cherry out on the ground. He tucks it behind his ear and scoops me in his arms like I’m a sack of potatoes.

We don’t go to the RV. He carries me around the dead bodies to the newer one. If I had the strength to cry, I would’ve.

Ben walks through the empty RV to the bathroom down the hall. He sets me on the floor and starts the shower while I sag in his arms and try to stay awake. I’m so tired. He deliberately let me fix the tires for no reason. He was tiring me out.

 “Want some water?” he asks. “Hungry?”

 “You son of a bitch,” I rasp. I squirm as much as I can as he peels off my clothes.

He laughs and lifts me into the shower. It’s much nicer than his, like a waterfall, and the pressure feels good on my skin. I can’t help but lean on his chest when he steps in with me.

 “You offered,” Ben murmurs. “Who am I to stop you?”

The water cascades around us and hides the tears running down my cheeks. I practically fall asleep while he washes me and he keeps a strong arm around my waist so I don’t fall over. The strain of the day washes down the drain.

He lingers with the loofa between my thighs, stroking gently, and kisses my temple. I whimper and cling to his hips while he rubs the thing against me, and my hips move on their own. Ben doesn’t comment. He continues a light trail of kisses along the side of my face until I climax, gasping into his wet chest.

 “Good girl.” He brushes back my hair and cups my cheek, eyeing me while I catch my breath. “Kept you busy while I moved everything over here, and now you’re not such a bitch.”

Ben helps me out of the shower and dries both of us off. He bends me over the counter at my waist and squeezes my nape. His erection prods my entrance and fear jolts through me.

 “Don’t worry,” he mumbles into my hair. “I’m just making a list of all the places I’ll fuck you.”

I squeak as he jerks me upright. Ben pushes me down the short hallway to the bedroom, again much bigger than his and much cleaner. There’s chains strewn on the floor—apparently Poe liked keeping women, too—and I see a bottle of lube on the nightstand. My heart pounds.

Ben guides me under the blue comforter. My arms tremble and sunburn prickles along my limbs as I slide underneath the sheets.

He hands me a glass of water. I shake too much to hold it myself so he does it for me, smiling. I gulp back the entire glass and pant as Ben crawls under the sheets with me. He sets the empty cup aside and shifts on top of me. The bed makes light rustles with our movement instead of creaking.

I watch him flick open the bottle of lube and move it beneath the sheets. It’s cold and sticky.

 “Ben,” I whisper, “I’m not ready.”

He smears some of it through my slit, dipping a finger to the wetness at my entrance. I squirm nervously at the touch, afraid of more pain.

 “No one’s ever ready.” Ben tosses the bottle aside and grasps my thigh with a tacky hand. “Just relax, Rey. If someone takes you, I don’t want your first time to be _complete_ shit.”

He angles my hips up and I feel his cock stroking my entrance. I’m too exhausted to scream and kick and part of me figures he’s right. It was already awful having Poe jam his fingers inside me and bring me to orgasm first. I cling to Ben’s shoulders and grit my teeth as he begins penetrating me, slow and careful.

Ben watches my face screwing up with pain. “I used like half a bottle of lube, drama queen.” His eyebrows raise as he slips deeper. “Still fucking tight as hell— _Jesus._ ”

 “Fuck you!” I snap. I arch, digging my nails into his back. “Mother _fucker_!”

He laughs and wipes his hands off on the sheets, then rests his weight on his forearm. His other hand kneads my breast, basically engulfing the whole thing in his palm, and he buries his face in my hair. I squirm as my body stretches to accommodate every shallow thrust he makes.

 “Haven’t fucked a chick without a condom in ages,” he groans. He rolls my nipple between his index finger and thumb. “God, you feel good. You feel so fucking good.”

 “Too big,” I manage, tears beading in my eyes, “too big—stop!”

Ben cups my cheek and kisses my lips. “ _Relax_ , babe. Relax.”

He keeps going, pushing deeper. I hitch my knees on his hips and he presses his forehead to mine, whispering between grunts, until he bottoms out. We breathe in the quiet darkness for a minute before Ben rolls his hips right where he is. 

 “That’s my good girl.” He kisses me again, longer and deeper than before, and groans in my mouth. “It’s okay—it’s okay.”   

The pain fades after a few minutes of him flexing his hips. I swallow hard and tentatively move against him, figuring out what feels good, and Ben thrusts slowly at first. He kisses down my jaw to my neck and moves faster and harder when I claw at his ribs.

The lube helps a lot. I wrap my legs around Ben’s waist, moaning in his ear and marveling at his muscles shifting under my fingertips. It finally feels good. Ben puffs in hot breaths on my throat and grasps my jaw so he has better access to my skin. He bites and rolls it through his teeth and I feel him throbbing inside me.

 “I’m going to fucking cum,” he grunts. “You’re too fucking tight.” He yanks my hair, glaring down at me. “Is that what you want?”

 “Yes,” I gasp, nodding. I hold his hips where I want them and meet his dark eyes, biting my lower lip.

Ben growls and his eyes roll back. “Jesus Christ, Rey—don’t look at me like that.” He nuzzles in my neck and makes a pained sound. “Fuck—fuck—are you gonna come?”

 “Mhm.” I pull him closer, running my fingers over his sweaty skin. “I—I think so.”

 “Good girl. Come all over my cock.” He slaps the headboard and suddenly stops moving. “Oh, god—seriously, I can’t—”

Knowing he’s about the finish pushes me over the edge. I pull Ben closer and bite his shoulder while I climax, rolling my hips into his and tightening my legs around his waist. He holds the back of my head and swears into my hair as he does the same. I moan into the wet, salty skin I’m biting, pulsing around his cock as he spills inside me. It’s an odd, animalistic sensation.

Ben gives a few short, frantic thrusts until his cock stops throbbing. He exhales hard and hugs me close, trembling just like I am. The RV falls completely silent except for our stilted breathing.

I go slack as Ben rolls over on his back, pulling me with him. His broad chest heaves and he wipes a hand down his face. I curl up at his side and swallow hard. Okay. So we had sex. I can feel the evidence leaking from between my thighs and sticky on my skin. It hurts a little.

Ben laughs. “That was fucking amazing.” He kissed the top of my head, sighing. “Fucking amazing.”

It seems like a good time for a sarcastic comment, but I’m too tired to try. I grunt in response and pass out with my head on Ben’s chest.


	12. Deep-Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh hello

_The inspector arrives on my fifteenth birthday. He’s an old guy, bald and short, and has an iPad to record me and Ben. He’s all smiles, shaking hands with both of us, and Ben shows him where to hang up his coat. His name is Frank._

_“Happy birthday!” he says when he sees my cake._

_I’m still not totally sure what’s supposed to happen, but I’m so nervous that my knees are knocking. Ben’s been avoiding me since the couch incident. I smile and offer Frank some cake._

_Ben keeps tapping his foot. “Since when is it recorded?”_

_“Don’t worry,” Frank says. He pats the back of the iPad. “It’s just for court hearings and things like that. No one watches it. Goes into an archive.” He shrugs and checks his watch. “I only need to see penetration and ejaculation, so the faster_ you _are…”_

_My cheeks burn. Ugh._

_Ben rubs his jaw and turns away. He’s trembling. His lips are pale white like he’s about to puke._

_“I can’t do this,” he mutters. “I can’t do this.”_

_“I’m a professional, sir. As soon as it’s done, I’ll leave, and you can carry on with your wife.”_

_Ben turns sharply and raises his voice. “She’s NOT my wife!” He runs a hand through his hair, shuddering, refusing to look at me. “She’s fucking fifteen—why do you fucking people do this?!”_

_Frank shifts uncomfortably. “Well, legally speaking, she_ is _your wife. But if you can’t make use of her, someone else will.”_

_I dig my fingernails into my palms so hard that they bleed. Ben’s dark eyes settle on me and his lower lip trembles. This is why he’s been avoiding me. After the couch incident he went in the bathroom and cried all night. I didn’t get how upset he was._

_He looks away as he holds out his hand._

_“Come on, Rey. Let’s get this over with.”_

 “Mulan and her boyfriend went for backup, y’know.”

The dream fades and I wake up beside Ben in the new bed in the new RV. Our naked legs are tangled together under the sheets and my head is on his chest. Night and day with the guy in my weird flashbacks.

I swallow. “Why? There’s three of us and one of you.”

 “They’re cowards. Told you Mulan is a cunt.” He yawns, shrugging. “They’ll intercept us on our way to the Resistance base, but I already got what I wanted.”

 “Fuck you.”

Ben laughs and rolls over on top of me. “Again?” He kisses my throat, growling and nipping. “Whatever you want, _wifey_.”

I shouldn’t—but I do.

Ben kisses down my body, over my stomach, and I whimper and arch. He hooks my thighs over his shoulders and hums and draws his tongue through my folds, still damp from us having sex an hour ago. I thread my fingers through his hair.

But he loses his patience pretty damn quick. He crawls back up my body, sheets rustling in the darkness, and I feel him press for entrance.

 “Getting what I want doesn’t mean I’m done with you,” Ben murmurs. He pushes forward and breathes hot on my neck while I squirm from the unfamiliarity of penetration. “But I still got what I wanted.”

 “Fuck _you_ ,” I hiss.

He bites my shoulder as he sinks deeper inside me. All the little micro cuts from the first time seem to prick open and I rake my nails down his back. He groans and thrusts, maybe as masochistic as he is sadistic. Freak.

 “What?” he whispers. He picks up his pace, trying to make me gasp and whimper. “Did you think this would have a romantic ending, Rey? Did you think we’d fall in love and change the whole fucking world?” His nose traces my jaw and he bites my neck, sucking hard before he lets go. “Do you still think you’re in a fairytale?”

I don’t reply. I bite him back, teeth to shoulder, and don’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he’s right.

Ben grunts and curses how tight I am again. He’s not a gentle person, but this encounter feels angry, like he’s mad at himself. He angles my hip and slaps my thigh. I bite him again.

 “Stop,” he grunts.

 “Fuck you.”

 “Fuck _me_? I’m not making you do this, kid.”

 “Fuck you,” I repeat.

He suddenly flips me over on my stomach and sinks into me from behind. It’s a much different sensation—I squeal and tighten and he smacks my ass. Ben leans across my back and yanks on my hair. Now I know he’s mad. Good.

 “God, you’re so fucking tight.” He holds my hip, keeping me in place. “All mine.”

Somehow, I manage to come that way. I’ve never been able to without actually touching myself. Ben follows soon after with _more_ swearing.

He stills, rocking slowly with each throb of his cock inside me, hands grasping my hips. He moans. I’m thankful for the implant in my arm. The last thing I want to do is have a baby with him.

We shower and get back on the road, and I doze off in the living room.

  _“Just wait here for me, kid. Okay?”_

_It’s dark. Ben is digging a shallow grave for the agent, still covered in his blood. Frank’s corpse lies between us._

_I try not to cry. “Why didn’t you just do it?”_

_The ground is damp and soft from recent rainfall. It makes digging the grave much faster. Ben says he called and gave Frank new directions earlier, so no one really knows where I am. And no one ever will._

_Ben looks up at me. He’s about two feet in. He needs to be six feet deep._

_“You’re too young,” he says. His forearm trembles as he rubs it across his cheek. “I’m—I’m not going to take your virginity on camera for some fucking perverts to watch. I can’t.” He shakes his head, dark eyes wide, and goes back to digging._

_“Can’t do it. Can’t do it. Can’t do it.”_


	13. Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY IT'S FINALLY FUCKING OVER  
> ok but this was the ending i wanted from the start so i'm happy. thanks for reading!!

Ben’s right—the Resistance intercepts us a couple hours after he predicts it, right at the base on a towering mountain.

The tires blow as he rolls over spike strips and I hear him groan and laugh up front. I sit up in bed, dressed only in one of his shirts, and stiffen when he grinds the RV to a halt. He keeps laughing as he walks back to me, swearing under his breath.

 “They’re here,” he calls just before walking into the bedroom. He chucks a pair of shorts at me. “Might as well look nice for when mommy picks you up.”

Ben drops his tranq gun in a safe under the bed. I hurriedly tug on the shorts as the front door is pried open.

Then he leans across the bed and grabs my jaw, tilting up so he can give me a bruising kiss. I yank on the front of his shirt to pull him closer and feel a weird clutch of sadness in my chest.

 “We can figure this out,” I whisper.

He straightens, smiling ruefully. “I already told you: this isn’t a fairytale, Rey.”

Two women in all black combat gear burst into the bedroom. Electrodes snap from one’s gun and drop Ben to the floor with a hiss of electricity. I shriek and reach for him, horrified by the sight, but then the bigger woman scoops me off the bed around my waist. She carries me from the room, kicking and screaming.

We walk off the RV into hazy dawn. I squirm out of the strange woman’s arms and fall on dew-dampened grass in front of a new group of people. Huffing, I flip over on my butt and look up.

 _Leia_. There she stands, dressed for combat like everyone else, gray hair looped in braids down to the middle of her back. She smiles down at me and we’re hugging and crying before I realize it. For a few minutes, I forget all about Ben.

 “Rey, honey,” Leia sighs, squeezing me. “I was so worried.”

Scraping sounds break up our happy reunion.

The smaller woman drags Ben off the RV and throws him to the ground, where he rolls on his back and laughs. She gives him a sharp kick in the ribs to shut him up but he just keeps laughing. Leia pats my back and slips around me to go address her son.

 “Did you really have to blow my fucking tires?” he groans. “I just got Rey to change all of them. On the wrong rig.” He cackles again, rolling from side to side, then his dark gaze settles on Leia. He grins. “Well hi there, mommy. So nice to see you again.”

She doesn’t crack a smile back. “Ben. Phasma is a defector from the First Order and she knows you’ve been brainwashed. We’ll reverse the process back at the compound.”

Ben shakes his head. He manages to sit up and all six women point their weapons at his head. I watch nervously.

 “No.” He spits blood in the grass. “I’m not doing that.”

 “You have no choice,” Leia replies.

 “There’s always a choice, and I choose not to have my brain fried trying to unfuck it.” He looks right at me and raises his eyebrows. “Like how Rey had a choice _not_ to fuck me, but she did, anyway.” He holds up two fingers, scissoring them and smirking. “Twice.”

Someone discharges their gun, tasing Ben again. He stiffens and collapses with unnatural jerking and I look to who shot it. Rose. She’s pissed off, maybe remembering what he did to her.

Leia sighs. “Phasma, cuff and load him.”

They have a few transports with more female soldiers. Leia leads me to one in the middle and we sit in the back together to talk.

I wring my hands. “…Did you brainwash me?”

 “Yes, dear. I had to. It was easier than letting you remember Ben and how severely he ruined my plans.” Leia offers me a roll and eats one herself. “If he’d done what he was _supposed to do_ and let the inspector leave peacefully, we wouldn’t be sitting here like this.

“But he was always a coward, so he ran off and was captured by the First Order. I suppose their rudimentary brainwashing turned him into _that_. They did the same to Poe Dameron.” She smiles but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “Poor boy. He was like a son to me.”

Poe Dameron… I shudder at the name. Maybe I won’t tell her about what an asshole he became. I definitely won’t tell her about what he did to me.

It’s not a long ways off to the Resistance base. The compound is build into the side of a mountain, a fortress should anyone be dumb enough to attack it. Leia chats with me about how I can be trained like the other women and laments me losing my virginity to Ben on our way through the gates.

I look around when we’re inside and see even more women milling around inside, but no men in sight. I’m not sure where they came from. Did Leia save all of them like she saved me?

We stop at a big gray stone house. Ben is long gone, and I’m left alone with his mother. I’m unsettled. I hope he’s okay.

————

A few quiet days pass and I’m left to ‘recover.’ I spend most of my time reading and wandering the compound in search of something else to do. Really, I’m trying to find Ben. I feel weird without him.

I find our RV in the shed being repaired and decide to walk through. I’m filled with mixed emotions, but they get even worse in the bedroom. I touch the mattress and swallow hard. Is it wrong to want to go back? Should I feel like I’m back home?

Under the bed I find the safe with Ben’s tranq gun. I look around to make sure I’m not being watched, then try typing in my birthday for the code. I can’t help but smile when it works.

I stow the gun in my shirt. Just in case.

Leia swears Ben’s going to be okay. The reversal of the brainwashing takes a couple weeks and then he’ll be ‘right as rain’ and we can get started on reversing mine. I want to see him for just a few minutes, but she says it’s not a good idea.

But I have my ways.

I catch up with Rose during lunch one afternoon and lament how I never got to make Ben apologize. She hesitates, but agrees to tell me where they’re keeping him.

 “He’s alone.” She scowls while drinking her tea. “You’ll feel better when you see what’s happening to him.”

I’m not so sure.

Her directions lead me to a small building on the outskirts of town. I type in the key code to enter and slip inside.

It’s dark. The lights activate while I walk and I pass through a small doorframe into a wider room. I have to type in another code to make a steel gate open. More lights turn on, flickering to life overhead, and I see him in the middle of the room.

Ben is lying on a cot with a thin sheet over him, shivering miserably. His black hair hangs in a greasy tangle around his face and a scab is forming on his lower lip. He has two silver dog bowls to drink out of, one with some brown mush and another with cloudy water. There’s a toilet in the corner.

I stare at him in utter shock.

 “Ben?” I whisper.

One eye opens, but he stares right through me. He grunts and closes it again.

 “What?”

I keep looking around, horrified. “What… what is this place?”

 “Prison, until they reverse the brainwashing.” Ben shifts and I see angry red marks down his forearms and pale back. “If they can reverse it before I go insane.”

 “But… Leia wouldn’t—”

 “ _Leia_ doesn’t care. This war has everyone giving up on empathy, Rey. She wants her kid back so he can be another useful pawn. Right now, I’m not what she needs, so she’ll do whatever she has to.” He coughs and shudders again. “She’ll do the same thing to you.”

 “Rey?”

Ben keeps coughing as I turn to find Leia standing in the doorframe. She smiles a little, but it’s guarded.

I gesture to the room. “What… what is this?”

 “Rey, honey. Let’s go home. Ben is very sick.” She outstretches her hand. “Come.”

I take a step back towards Ben. He takes a rattling breath.

 “He’s your son,” I say, voice trembling. “How can you let him be treated like this?”

 “That’s not my son. That’s a perversion of Ben, and I’m trying to bring back the one we know and love. He’s going to be okay, Rey.”

 “What about me?” I stare at her. Fear prickles down my spine. “Am I not your daughter anymore?”

Leia takes a second too long to answer, then she just smiles and offers me her hand again. I feel sick. I keep staring, realizing that she’s going to do the same thing to me until I ‘come back’ from my own brainwashing—that _she did_.

My home isn’t safe. The evil in the world has seeped into everything I love, including my own adoptive mother.

Trembling, I reach back to draw the tranq gun, but feel Ben reach up to grab it before I can. He shoves me aside and points the weapon right at his mother’s face. He shivers. The gun rattles.

Leia rolls her eyes. “Ben.”

 “I’m leaving,” he croaks. “Don’t fucking follow me.”

 “ _Ben_ —you’re my son. Of course I’m going to follow you.”

He slips out of the bed, just in a shirt and sweatpants, and yanks me to his chest by my upper arm. His forearm curves around my stomach and he grasps my shoulder to hold me in place. Ben turns the gun and presses it to my temple.

 “Then I’ll kill her,” he snaps.

My heart pounds. I feel his breath on my ear and for a minute, I worry I made the wrong decision in coming to visit him. But he mumbles to me when Leia demands he let me go—‘safety’s on.’

 “You’re making a huge mistake!” Leia hisses.

 “I don’t think so.” He bends down to swipe his shirt off the floor and urges me forward. “I think anything’s better than waiting for you to cook my fucking brain.”

We sidle past Leia and through the facility to the front door. Ben tugs on his shirt and opens the door to let me out first.

He rubs his face. “Where’s the rig?”

 “The shed—the shed. They fixed the tires.”

 “Good. Dumb cunts are useful for something.” He pokes me in the back with the tranq. “I knew you’d come get me. Not such a sunshiney place here, is it?”

 “…No.”

 “Mhm. Don’t worry, kid. It’ll just be me and you.”

I redden. “Fuck you.”

 “That’s my girl.”

We make our way along alleys and through shadows to the shed. The RV is being guarded by a few women, but Ben stuns them with the tranq gun and we’re able to get on without a problem.

It’s like coming home. I make my way to the living room and plop down on the couch while Ben starts the engine. He’s still coughing.

The RV jolts forward and we start driving. I close my eyes and somehow, I manage to fall asleep.

—————

 “Hey, kid. Wake up.”

I’m not on the couch anymore. I’m back in Ben’s bed, stretched out under the sheets in his shirt and shorts again. He’s dripping from a shower and turns to cough into his elbow while I sit up and yawn.

He rubs his chest and winces. “Fuck—think I’ve got pneumonia. Come with me.”

I climb out of bed and follow him to the front of the RV, hovering back and watching him nervously. Hopefully it’s just pneumonia. He has antibiotics. We’ll have to take it easy for a few days while he recovers: but what if Leia is already after us?

Ben holsters his tranq gun and leads me down the stairs and outside into a cool morning. I shiver and cross my arms as we walk around the front of the RV.

Something amazing looms ahead: an enormous canyon, run through by a roaring river that vanishes over the edge into a waterfall. I gape at the sight, taking in the towering pines, some charred by a forest fire, and the amazing array of color in the canyon. I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s like a postcard.

Ben clears his throat. “It’s called the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone. Arizona and the real Grand Canyon’s still a ways off, but I figured you’d want to stop here first.” He points down the cracked road we’re parked on. “There’s a couple other things to see, like Old Faithful and the caldera. Bison fucking everywhere, too.”

I keep staring, mesmerized. “It’s… beautiful.”

 “Yeah, it is. Lots of stuff to see all over the country like this. Figured it might be nice, since you’ve spent half your life in hiding.”

We look at each other for a long minute and I burst into tears. I fling my arms around his waist, not really sure why I’m so emotional. Ben’s pale cheeks redden and he huffs and mutters, rubbing the back of his head and patting my back.

 “Okay,” he grumbles, “relax. It’s just a canyon. There’s tons of them.” He kisses the top of my head. “You gonna cry every time?”

 “Maybe.” I bury my face in his chest and turn my head slightly so I can look out over the canyon. “And you can’t stop me.”

Ben huffs. “Whatever.”

We stand there together in silence, moving into something new and wrong, but somehow so incredibly _right._ I lean into him and he rests his cheek on top of my head and sighs. Lots of things are wrong in this bizarre new world I’ve come back to, but Ben isn’t one of them.

And the silence persists, and so do we.


End file.
